Buttercream Gang Posts Postponed

I will never work with dvds again, I swear. All Buttercream Gang posts are hereby suspended till I can find a dvd drive that actually WORKS. My dinosaur of a macbook has kicked the bucket on that regard, and my new frisbee Macbook Air does not, of course, have a dvd drive.

It could be a while. A LONG while.

I don’t know when I’ll GET a dvd drive. It could be a long time. So, in the meantime, I’m going to start on what I wanted to work on after I was done with Buttercreamers.

How many of you remember the show McGee and Me? Well you’re about to go on a trip down memory lane. Or not, in which case, lucky you.

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The Buttercream Gang: Secret of Treasure Mountain part 3

I scheduled this to be posted today so I don’t know why it didn’t. Fortunately I kept backups this time, having learned that wordpress eats posts for breakfast on occasion.

Part 3

My H Key is still missing. I’ll try and proof read but in case I miss something, blame my keyboard.

When we last left our fearless heroes, they were in the treehouse waiting for Margaret to come by with the money they made from the skate races. Earlier it was said that the races cost $3 each, soooo wow. I thought fundraisers knew they had to make it cost more than THAT, right?

In any case, Scotty Boy licks his wounds about being beat by an 11 year old GIRL.

Eldon has to inform them that the lemonade stand not only didn’t MAKE any money, but he LOST $7. In the background, Eli is sitting in the treehouse writing something.

What? Eli looks like he’s Jessie’s age or younger. And they have no problem with HIM being a Buttercreamer, but God forbid JESSIE hold the title. Good Lord, I CAN’T with these people anymore!

Lanny: I told you not to invest in that dumb lemonade stand. You should’ve pulled together with me and Scott.

I agree that the lemonade stand was dumb, but… honestly I’m not seeing a reason Eldon should’ve stuck with them? I mean, if he’d raced Jessie, he only would’ve made an extra $3.

Eldon: Well I guess I can’t be as perfect as you guys!

He storms out of the treehouse, and Margaret and Jessie come up. Margaret actually shouts “Girls coming up!” like they need a warning. Lanny pulls a rope which triggers a “Keep Out” sign.

Buttercream boy: Hey, you know you’re not supposed to be up here.

Um, what? Margaret is a Buttercreamer. I guess they don’t consider Jessie one (but that’s stupid) but Margaret is the boys’ age. Why THE HELL is it a boys only club, still, even with female members?

Besides, they KNEW Margaret was coming by earlier, why THE HELL are they getting mad at her now? What did they expect her to do, throw the money at the treehouse? Boys need to get over their cooties thing. That was SO first grade.

Margaret is way cooler than I am about this whole thing. She strolls into the treehouse, ignoring the boys’ sexism, and asks where Eldon is off to in such a bad mood.

Which is probably a better way to handle it than what I would’ve done, actually, which would be to take Lanny and Scott and throw them headfirst out of the treehouse.

Margaret asks if the guys were teasing Eldon again, to which Lanny responds that they were just telling him the truth.

Yeah, in a teasing manner you stupid jerk.

Margaret doesn’t say that. I wish she would. Someone needs to kick these boys in the ego, because during this whole time Scott’s had this huge smirk on his face. No, I can’t get screenshots because technology issues.

Margaret explains that Eldon doesn’t feel like he belongs with the rest of the Buttercreamers, and I could point out that Margaret and Jessie have more right to feel that way because THEY’RE the ones who are constantly put down and marginalized because VAGINA.

Scott: Eldon needs to learn that we’re a team.

Me: And the team has to do the same thing all the time? Drop dead Scott.

Eli: I think Eldon knows that. Do you?

And then he storms out of the treehouse too.

I’m not sure I like Eli, but I don’t dislike him either. By the which I mean, I didn’t spend the entire movie wanting to punch his face in, so, the writers are improving?

The 2 boys are clueless, but ask Margaret for the money. Jessie announces it’s $38.65. She tells Scott she’s up for a rematch any time he is. Margaret says they’ve made the boys squirm enough for the day and leave.  I’m not sure what she means by that.  Are they supposed to be squirming because EWWWWW GIRLS!!!!! Or because Margaret was right about their treatment of Eldon?

I hope you weren’t curious, because We Don’t Get To Know.

The next scene is in Mr. Duncan’s lab. It’s dark, and the 2 buffoons are breaking in. They are the loudest burglars I’ve ever heard. I know this is a small town but seriously, even the smallest school I’ve ever been to in the tiniest town I’ve ever lived in had an alarm system. Why doesn’t Elkrige High?

There’s a boring scene where the fat man gets stuck in the window and they make A TON OF NOISE  getting him out. Thin buffoon (no, I don’t know their names) somehow has a bunch of needles in his forehead. I guess he landed on them? I blinked and missed it.

The 2 stumble helplessly around the lab. Buffoon one bangs into some windchimes, and…. wait, windchimes? In an Geology teacher’s office? Like, these are freakin’ huge windchimes just randomly chilling in a geologist’s office. They’re not even in a window where they could make a pretty sound, they’re just… by a desk with a fish tank. Ok then. This office also has a bunch of test tubes and chemicals.

And donuts, apparenty, as buffoon number 2 gets excited over them. Buffoon 1 gets scared by a skeleton, scared by a snake… I’m bored. Even as a kid I HATED it when the bad guys were buffoons.

Here comes Jessie and Margaret to NOT save me from my boredom. Jessie says sometimes it seems like Margaret really likes “that Scott.”

Margaret agrees that she kinda likes him like a boyfriend and then Jessie becomes less likeable as she says “yuck! boys are totally gross!”

Sigh. A kid can’t ever have a normal healthy of the opposite gender. They must either find the opposite gender disgusting or adorable.

When I was Jessie’s age, I saw boys as –gasp– HUMANS and potential friends! I wish writers would stop writing children in black and white like that. There are a zillion shades of in between “ew cooties!” and “be sure to wear a condem so you don’t GET cooties.” Seriously writers!

Anyway, Jessie and Margaret are walking by the school and, by the power of their awesome detective skills (by the which I mean, their fully functional EARS) they deduce that someone is in the school.

They see the buffoons running. Margaret first checks to see they’re ok, then discovers they have the map. She grabs it and they both run. Suddenly, the buffoons disappear! Margaret and Jessie prove to me that they have no brain cells by walking back and checking behind the dark dumpster.

Fortunately for them, they find buffoon #2 spread eagle on his back. Eldon peers out behind the dumpster.

Right, because heaven forbid the girls use their wits to save THEMSELVES, oh noooo can’t have THAT, they need a MAN to save them!

I’ve given myself a headache with all the eye rolling.

Eldon recognizes the buffoon as Amaldamar’s friend. And they’ve forgotten about buffoon number 1, who comes out to scare them, but fortunately for the kids is too incompetent to actually do anything to them.

They knock out the buffoons (or the buffoons knock themselves out, I can’t tell which) and tie them to the railing of the school.

I’m thinking now would be a good time to call the police, or maybe that would’ve been somewhere before if there had been time, but as we all know, the Buttercreamers are adverse to doing any such thing. You get the feeling they ARE the town’s police force and EMS all rolled into one.

The Buttercream Gang: Secret of Treasure Mountain Part

This review is long in coming, because I had to throw in some abstinence days, and there is no way in hell I can watch this movie without booze. You see, this movie isn’t nearly as bad as it’s predecessor –it’s WORSE. The first movie at least passed the “can I watch it while sober” test. This one… doesn’t. It somehow manages to take something exciting (looking for buried treasure) and make it wicked boring.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the movie, here’s the description from amazon.

[quote] A monk’s counsel is as clear as the desert air: “Sometimes the greatest treasure you can ever find is within yourself.” And the words are well-timed wisdom to ButterCreamer Eldon after he finds part of an ancient map and becomes intrigued with the search for hidden treasure. Unaware that danger lurks in the shadows, Eldon talks the other ButterCreamers into helping hunt for conquistador gold – as a way to help their ailing and needy friend, Mr. Graff. But Eldon almost lets his secret wish for fame disrupt those plans. The young man must discover something more precious than gold – that being a true hero is often nothing more than caring enough to help someone in need and persevering until that need is met.  [/quote]

I am going to TRY to get this done in 5 parts or less. Laugh at me now because that is sooo not happening, partly because I have a life and partly because I can’t handle that much booze in one setting. These reviews will likely be rather short.

Apparently FFF doesn’t like hearing impaired persons, because this movie has no options for subtitles. There’s a parents’ guide in the bonus material that we will be going over at the end of these reviews. No, I don’t know how long they’re going to take me. It’s hard because I have crippling depression, a real life, and am only convinced that one or two people are reading these. Whatever, *I* like doing it, that’s what matters.

Michael D Weatheredd is not in this movie. Which is sad because Pete was the most interesting character in the first movie hands down, BUT Elton was the second most interesting, so, this is as good as we’re going to get.

The scene opens in Elkridge, in the year 1562.  3 men dressed like pilgrims?

They’re walking with a big chest. 2 of them have an argument about why one men fell, and then the Indians find them. As one of the Indian turns his back to us, I think I can see his underpants. But I didn’t look too closely.

They run from the Indians. Next we are shown a cave, with the voice over saying a verse of scripture: But when you are invited to the house, go and sit in the lowest room, that when he comes, he may say unto thee “friend, go up higher.”

That verse never made much sense to me either, but I’m guessing it did in Jesus’ time, because 2,000 years ago is 2,000 years ago and I am 2,000 years into Jesus’ future.

We then see a man writing these words. Then we are shown… a different part of the cave? The 3 men drop the treasure chest, which we are shown is full of gold coins.

Seriously? That was dumb. Apparently Apple doesn’t allow you to take screen grabs of your own dvds. I had to find another way to play it. This one the quality is kind of less but whatever. Rawr Apple, you used to be so good and then you just got so BAD.

In any case, I figured out how to grab them, so it’s good.

Ah, it turns out that the old man is the father of the 3 men, and he said they returned sooner than he expected.

Man1: we must leave at once, many savages are pursuing us

Man 2: I refuse to let our gold fall into the wrong hands!

Apparently man 2 is the captain, and the other 2 men are all that remains of his crew. Except for some reason the captain refuses to claim them? When asked how many of his crew is left, the two men put their arms around each other and smile.

Captain: None

I also think they’re the same actors that will later show up, but prosopognosia makes it hard to tell.

Priest: Then I cannot help you.

Captain: (drawing his sword) May I remind you of your holy obligation to the British Empire. you will help us or I will offer you to these savages in return for my life.

Whoops. Looks like when they called him “father” they meant more like, “priest.” Whoopsie.

There’s some talk about how the Indians will fight for their land.

The captain cuts up the map, so they each have only part of it. 3 pieces total. Then he makes them all promise to be loyal to him and serve him and his family,  to the 7th generation, till the gold comes into his (or his families’) hands again. The two men, who are at gunpoint, swear.

The priest crosses himself and prays before the treasure chest. Then he buries it for safe keeping.

Priest: And may the earth forever keep it safe, rather than letting it fall into the wrong hands.

We are then shown an Indian looking for the treasure, but not finding it. So, Native Americans are the wrong hands for gold, apparently.

Next we’re shown a scene of a Buttercream Boy waterboarding? No, water SKIING. He’s doing really badly. Hey look, I see persons of color! This movie definitely has more diversity than the last one. I take back some of the things I said about racism in the last movie, but not all, because Hispanics are bad because gangs and oh look, Pete is Hispanic and he totally looks it because….um…. look a butterfly!

Left to right: Lanny, Eli, and Scott call out encouragement to Eldon.

Anyway, as Elton tries (and fails) to water ski, we’re shown Margaret, Mr. Duncan, and some kids I don’t recognize walking along the shore with a metal detector. Because of course Margaret couldn’t be with the boys water skiing. She’s wearing a very modest bathing suit under a long ish jacket.

I LOVE her bathing suit, btw. It’s totally my color

Which, for the 1990s, wasn’t really out of place. So, the makers of this movie are not for wholesome swimwear, And I get the impression the jacket is more for warmth than modesty.

Also, I haven’t seen anyone USE a metal detector since the 1990s. Even then I don’t remember it being too popular. In any case, Margaret asks Mr. Duncan if he wants to try water skiing, but he says he’ll leave all that to his nephew Elton. Or maybe not, since Eldon is really really bad at it. Then he talks about how persistence is very important, moreso than skill. Scotty boy tells Eldon not to give up, because Buttercreamers never give up.

I’m resisting the urge to quote Galaxy Quest: Never give up, Never surrender!

Whoops, guess I just quoted the Tim Allen’s character from Galaxy Quest.

Elton decides he’s got too many skis and decides to try using only one. Since he has no wakeboard, I suspect the kid is going to break his leg.

My prediction turns out to be false.

Eldon: I’ll master this waterskiing if it’s the last thing I do

Eli: Normally, I’d say don’t hold your breath, but in this case you’d better.

Such a nice new Buttercreamer we have here! I have to say, this movie is better than it’s parent about introducing characters. We’re not even 10 minutes into the movie (unless you count the thing with the Spanish people in helmets) and I know at least 2 new character’s names: Mr. Duncan, and Eli. I feel like that’s a record for this company, so, progress, I guess.

We’re shown a shot of a little girl playing with a rope

Sarah, aren’t you old enough to know better?

Unfortunately, the rope is still attached to a boat. I feel like someone her age should be able to figure that out but what do I know. Anyway, shots of the girl playing are interspersed with scenes of Scott successfully waterskiing as Eldon tries to take off one ski and somehow only balance on it.

Meanwhile, Mr. Duncan gets excited because Jessie finds an old Indian arrowhead. Mr. Duncan gets extremely excited, and says it could be 100-300 years old. He knows this because he is a junior high science teacher.

Ladies, Gentlemen, and variations thereof, meet the most awesome character in the whole movie: Jessie.

Eldon is the first to notice Sarah is in danger, and tries to get off his other ski so he can. He ends up falling in the lake as Scott rescues Sarah, and is then hugged by a grateful mother.

Which…. the mother was actually really close by and paying attention. She starts screaming for someone to help her little girl. Why didn’t she just go down there and start frantically trying to untangle the rope? Why did she wait for Scott and Lanny to do it?

Oh right. Women in this movie are still semi useless. But at least we get some scenes of Jessie being cool, so I’ll try to suck on that little pacifier they threw my way.

Eldon is disappointed he didn’t get to be the hero. I can sympathize with that. Lanny tries to cheer him up by saying it was a group effort (It wasn’t, Eldon was too busy  flailing about on his skis, but he gets credit from me for trying.)

Lanny tells Eldon he’s the Buttercream clown who makes them laugh. Eldon says they don’t need a clown, Lanny argues a bit, then agrees. I disagree, by the way. Everyone needs someone to make them laugh.  Eldon climbs onto the dock and says, “Just once I’d like to be the hero instead of Scott.”

And I’d like for Scott to be knocked off his high horse too, so we’re in agreement.

Mr. Duncan takes the gang to the cliffs… hang on, there were no cliffs in the last movie, where did they come from? We spent a lot of time with Scott and Pete at the lake in the last movie with no cliffs in sight. And where is Elkridge supposed to be located? When reading up on the last movie, I was under the impression it was supposed to be a rural town in Maine. I don’t think Spanish explorers came to Maine in the 1500s. Actually, would they even have set foot on the North American continent in the 1500s?

Mr. Duncan Talks to Eli about the origin of the Buttercream Gang which, since he’s part of it, he probably already knows. Wow this old clunker of a computer takes FOREVER to start playing again after I un pause it and crashes frequently. This wouldn’t have happened if I could’ve used Apple’s movie player.

Mr. Duncan doesn’t even know what they’re looking for. “A sign saying ‘Spanish Conquistadors slept here.'”

Eldon finds something with Spanish writing on it. Eli sounds like he speaks Spanish, but it’s never stated outright. He says it’s 6 or 7 months old and looks like the twist off cap from a bottle of Mexican Beer.

How does Eli know what Mexican Beer caps look like, anyway? This movie was made by a Mormon company, aren’t Mormons against drinking? At least, that’s what Elizabeth Smart said in her book I just read.

Scott finds a dubloon, and everyone gets really excited.  Eldon feels bad and storms off.

He comes across a group of little girls, one of whom falls and scrapes her knee. And starts crying.

Does it hurt? Uh huh!

Eldon stops to make sure she’s ok, comforts her a bit and tells her to run along and ask uncle will (Mr. Duncan) for a bandaid.

I give Margaret credit for going after Eldon when he runs off because oh yeah, she’s following him and still doesn’t manage to catch up even though the hurt girl has slowed him down.

I actually sympathize with Eldon. I used to want a little credit too. Still like it when it comes my way, actually, and I think the human race in general just likes to be appreciated.

A littler boy, Connor, follows after Margaret as she runs after Eldon. When she finds Eldon, Margaret tells Connor to “stay.” Like he’s a dog.

Ooooh do you think she’ll give him a TREAT afterwards?

I need more booze.

Those kids are NOT wearing appropriate shoes for traipsing around the cliffs. I mean the little kids, not the older ones. The older ones are wearing what looks like hiking sandals, Except for Margaret, who is in flip flops.

Is this guy the same actor who played Mr. Graff in the first movie? A quick google search reveals it is, he just shaved. Stupid prosopognosia! Yes, WordPress, that IS a real word. Jeez.

Eldon says just once he’d like to be a hero and have everyone know it. Instead of listening like a good friend, Margaret cuts him off

I liked her better when she was a geek.

She already thinks Eldon is a hero, because:

Margaret: you’re nice, you’re funny. my mom always says that real heroes are the ones that help others without their knowing it, without all the praise.

Seriously? In the movie this girl is supposed to be 14/15 ish. She should have better reasons by now than, “my mom says.” If she agrees so much with what her mom says, why isn’t she saying the same thing while omitting the “my mom says” part?  Seriously!

Eldon: my mom says the same thing over and over.

Margaret tells him he should come back to the group, but Eldon decides he needs some alone time.

When Margaret is gone, he decides that if the rains washed that coin down, maybe there’s still stuff up there.

Eli sounds the alarm that Eldon is “in a precarious situation” and proceeds to act like a walking dictionary when the other boys ask him to define precarious and seriously? THESE PEOPLE JUST GRADUATED JR HIGH! The word “precarious” was in my THIRD GRADE vocabulary quiz. And that’s about the age I’d guess Eli to be. Seriously, writers!

Everybody tells Eldon he should get down, because waht he is doing is dangerous.

For once, I agree.

When Elton tells them his logic about the rain washing down the doubloon, Mr. Duncan says the cliff face is so soft anything would’ve fallen into the lake 100 years ago. Pretentious adults, exactly what this movie needs.

Eldon falls a little ways down the cliff, finding a stick with an ancient bit of parchment around it as he falls the rest of the way down the cliff.

Hey everybody, look what Eldon found!

Mr. Duncan stops Eldon. They shouldn’t unwrap the document because it’s really old and they could crumble it. Mr. Duncan says he’s going to take it very carefully to an expert. Finally, someone in this movie starts making some sense!

Eldon gets a hearty congratulations.

Scene change!

Mr. Graff had a heart attack and is forced to sell his house. The reverend explains it to them. Since Mr. Graff owns the property the treehouse is on, Mr. Graff isn’t just losing his house, they are losing their treehouse. To his credit, Eldon says that Mr. Graff’s losing his house is worse than them losing their treehouse.

Mr. Graff comes along and is happy the Buttercreamers have been helping. It was supposed to be a surprise, apparently.

A real estate agent comes with potential buyers. The woman gives Eldon a kiss on the cheek, leaving behind red lipstick. These adults behave like caricatures. It’s too stupid.

The man shows Eldon his book on how to get rich, which costs $49.95

The woman calls Mr. Graff a “cute old man” and starts fake crying because he reminds her of her “dear old daddy.”

I have seen men who remind me of grandpa, who passed away recently, but I would never presume to speak to them like this woman does. She is just so disrespectful and condescending and NO HUMAN BEING ACTUALLY BEHAVES THIS WAY IN REAL LIFE. (by the which I mean the over the top fakeness, not the disrespectful and condescending part.)

Yes, this is the best screenshot I could get. He doesn’t show it for more than 1 second.

Man: Hi, I’m Mr. I can’t catch his name, and I like to think of myself as an author. Perhaps you’ve heard of my book, how to make a million dollars with nothing down

Eldon: you can do that?

Man: sure, just buy my book for $49.95

Scott: I thought you said nothing down.

Unfortunately, Eldon looks interested. He says he can make the money for the book, easy. The man gives him a piece of paper, saying that Eldon can send him the money for it when he gets it.

The man and woman exit the stage, and thank God we never see them again. But we get to hear all about Eldon wanting that book. Seriously, this guy is just about to start high school, he should know better.

The Buttercreamers set out on a mission to save Mr. Graff’s house. Eldon says, “I know what I can do” and runs off. The other boys follow Eldon, who bikes out on a road to the middle of nowhere, and then we get treated to a fantasy he has of him being the hero and congratulated by everyone and then Margaret will like him instead of Scott…

Eldon apparently has gone to Uncle Will’s lab, where he begs his uncle to unroll the scroll, because he has to know what he found.

Well, what DID he find? Is it merely an old band poster? Is it a treasure map? A page from a porn novel? tune in next time to find out!

The Buttercream Gang, The Ultimate Ending

Sorry this has taken me so…. long. Depression hit really hard. Kudos to you who are still checking/reading. Thank you.

Scott tries to hang out with Pete and his gang on the playground, but Pete’s gang get up and move away.

I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t want to hang out with Scott either.

At least Scott is trying to be friendly with them, though I’m going to argue that it’s too little too late. And he’s doing it in such a way that really does come across as stalking.

The LSD song starts playing again, because we’ll forget it if it’s been too long, I guess. People really like this song, for some reason. Youtube comments are all very positive, and asking where they can buy a recording. Anyway, instead of

Life on the streets has taught ME to see the world through different eyes, we get: Life on the streets has taught HIM to see the world through different eyes.

The change is perhaps because Scott is (supposedly) beginning to understand Pete? Nah, sorry, see no evidence of that.

When Pete’s gang ditches Scott on the playground, Instead of going back to his other friends, Scott eats alone. We’re probably supposed to feel sorry for him, but, I don’t, because he could just go eat with Flower Child and Whatshisname.

A girl throws a football at Pete. He catches it and chases her only to be confronted with this

It’s an Ambush!

because that’s not at all creepy and intimidating, jeez! I’d run too if I were Pete… in the opposite direction! Which, unsurprisingly, he does.

Pete and his friends hound Scott and his friends in front of the store.. payback for trying to force him to play football with them I guess.

Pete’s gang trashes the treehouse as Scott and his goons plant flowers (by which I mean real flowers, not Elton Flowers, tee heee hee), through which Pete and his friends then ride their bikes

Scott sends Pete a present. It’s nothing exciting though, just a picture of the old Buttercreamers before Pete left. I’d be disappointed too. By the shape of the package, I thought it was a book. I love books. Seriously, if I thought someone gave me a present and it was just a stupid picture of me and them, I’d be pissed, especially if, like Pete, I was poor and unused to presents.

The song continues as Pete and Scott bump heads.

Finally Margaret puts in an appearance. Scott talks to Margaret about how hard it is to love Pete, because Pete’s doing things to Scott. Margaret teases him about feeling sorry for himself. Scott asks if she could blame her.

Yes, yes I really could, because SCOTT YOU ARE A GODDAM PRICK. Frankly if I knew you, I’d be doing the same things Pete does.

I should probably step outside the I hate Scott box for 5 seconds and comment about Pete pushing Scott away, because he knows Scott doesn’t love him the way he is. And Scott has been the one following Pete around, for the most part. Even if Scott wasn’t such a prick, I’d still push him away, because having him around hurts too much. And he wants to push away his “friend” before his friend is going to do it to him, because Pete knows that’s coming. In fact, for the first part of the whole movie, we mostly see Scott not interacting with Pete, because of Pete’s “bad choices.” I don’t blame Pete at all for his actions, either way you look at it.

Margaret thinks Scott’s made a difference. Pete might not have changed, but Scott has. Hmm. I might have to watch this movie another 4 times (Which would bump the total up to 7 or 8) to see it… maybe? I mean, his approach has gotten (slightly) better, (if you can pretend for 5 minutes that it’s not a tad creepy)  but… his attitude hasn’t. He’s still the same old prick who won’t listen to Pete, and he’s only grudgingly trying to pursue Pete, on the unspoken condition that it change him.

Just listen to Scott complain about how hard it is to love Pete. I have people in my life (certain relatives) who I don’t particularly like. I struggle to like these relatives. But love? That choice to stand by them no matter what, in a non threatening manner and back off when they clearly indicate it? That feeling that I will always have a connection to them? No. I don’t struggle to love my family. If you have to struggle to love someone, chances are, you probably don’t.

And then finally someone besides Mr. Graff in this movie speaks some SENSE. I really like Margaret. Why couldn’t she be the main character? Oh right, because GIRLS HAVE COOTIES.

Margaret: I kinda feel sorry for Pete. I mean, he can’t go anywhere in this town without someone reminding him of who he used to be.

Yup. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. And in case anyone wanted to know, IT HURTS.

Margaret and Scott have been enjoying themselves, and talk about wanting to do it again, when Buttercreamer A comes up on his bike and tells them someone has broken into Pete’s house.

Scott says something…. I can’t make out.

Buttercreamer (So, Lanny): No, but I left Elton there to watch.

Margaret and Scott: Elton?!

Clearly, they both agree with me that this is a bad idea, but not for the same reason. The reason I’m thinking of is because Elton could get hurt. Margaret and Scott just think Elton is sorta flaky, which, ok, maybe, but that’s a topic for the next movie. Scott rushes to a phone and calls the police– JUST KIDDING! They all run back to Pete’s house.

Seriously, both boys should’ve hightailed it out of there and called the police AS SOON AS they knew what was happening.

I thought about doing a whole rant about the danger they could be in, but do I really need to do that? No, my readers are probably smarter than that.

None of these boys, or girls, are good at dealing with emergency situations, are they?

Seriously, did a little kid write this story? I would give a little kid a lot more leeway than I am the adult writers of this series.

Scott thinks Elton should’ve gone for help instead. Lanny agrees, but he said he thought it would be ok because he promised him a giant milkshake if he stayed there. Eegad.

Margaret: maybe we should call the police!

Seriously, get this girl into a better movie because she clearly has more sense than all the boys in this town put together and multiplied.

Scott: nah, we better go check it out for ourselves.

In real life, Scott would not live to be 30.

Flower Child: Pete and Mr. turner just went in there

Scott: you didn’t tell him the place had been broken into?

FlowerChild: you told me not to move, where’s my milkshake?

Ladies and gentleman: the protagonist of the next sequel: How the Buttercream Gang members all died!

I’m not kidding, there really is a sequel, and he really is the protagonist. I am kidding about the title, of course… And I just googled, I did not hear wrong, his last name really IS flowers. SNORT. So, should I nickname him daffodil, or Lilly? Rose? Petunia? Oooooh the possibilities! I originally wrote that I wouldn’t be doing that movie because Pete’s not in it and he’s the only interesting character in this whole movie, but, you know what? I’m curious. So, if I can find a place to watch the sequel, I’ll buy more booze. Because the tagline in the movie is “Elton sees himself how others see him.” Frankly, I want to watch that happen. I don’t imagine it will be pretty.

Scott says something I don’t catch, (Why does this movie have no subtitles?!) and then a little girl comes up.

Scott: what are you doing here?

Little Girl: watching Pete

She leads the Buttercream gang plus Margaret around the corner to the window. According to the wiki, the little girl is Regina, and I probably would’ve know that if I wasn’t face blind.

We look through the window and are shown

The man is saying to Pete’s grandpa that he;d better hand over the gold coins now or Pete is gonna get hurt.

At this point, one of those kids should really call the police. This is not something that children should be handling on their own. Actually, it’s not something untrained adults should be handling on their own either, unless there’s a damn good reason not to call the cops. Which, in this situation, there isn’t, as far as we know.

I’m not saying this can’t work. I have read books and seen movies where the kids do handle it themselves. But there’s a difference between those movies and these: in those movies, there is an established reason as to why they can’t call the police. Ie, we can’t call the police! They’d never believe Mr. Turner is an alien in disguise! or “The police would never believe the kidnapper has magic powers!” In this movie, the kids have just decided not to call the police because nah. Literally, that’s the only objection Scott gave Margaret.

So this doesn’t work here because the entire time the audience is going to be screaming JUST CALL THE POLICE YOU DUMBASS. Or at least, the audience that is above the age of, I dunno, 13.

Pete is not a convincing actor. Juuuuust saying.

Finally, Scott tells Margaret to get the sheriff for him. Maybe the kid does have some sense after all–

And the next scene just proved me wrong.

The bad guy takes Pete outside of the house. The kids attack. Margaret yells that the sheriff is here. Wow that was fast. Elton does an “earthquake” on the “bad guy’s” stomach, and the bad guy is clearly a terrible actor. Juuuust saying.

Also, in case we have forgotten, earthquake is when Elton jumps really really hard, in this case, onto the bad guy’s stomach.

Sigh. What if the bad guy had had a gun? A butcher knife? Elton could be dead right now. Are we supposed to view Elton’s actions as bravery?Because I can’t. Because they should’ve called the sheriff A LONG FRICKIN’ TIME AGO and Margaret called out that the sheriff just arrived. I would even tell adults “let the professionals handle it.” I could especially say that to a group of children, particularly a group of children who clearly failed First Responder Class 101. Actually, they never got that far, they failed the 98 course!

The bad guy goes up to Pete and yells “what kind of double cross are you trying to pull!” Pete is then thrown to the ground. Bad guy gets away. The boys sensibly don’t chase him.

In this scenario, Pete especially needs people them to call the police because he’s scaring people, and he needs to know that this is MAJORLY NOT OK. I’m reasonably sure Pete could get arrested for this, actually. Isn’t it a crime to fake a crime scene like this? I could be wrong. But at the same time, I could also see small town cops would be  likely to sit the kid down and give him a warning rather than lock him up. I still think this is arrest worthy, and I’d rather he be prosecuted for this than any burglary.

Pete yells at the gang to mind their own business because they weren’t saving him. Apparently he set the whole thing up to get money to go back to Chicago.

Scott has this look on his face:

I don’t believe that, why?!

Scott has every right to be angry here. This is the first thing Pete has done that I can’t even get behind and excuse because faking that you are in danger is not cool. So I don’t actually blame Scott for not wanting to sit down and listen to him here. Though it doesn’t make him look all pious as he’s been trying to appear for the whole movie.

Instead of answering, Pete runs. Scott runs after him. Pete runs to the grocery store and… without a weapon, tries to hold up Mr. Graff. He yells at him to “give me all your money!”

Mr. Graff: Calm down Pete, if you need some money I’ll give you some

Pete: don’t you get it old man, you’re being robbed here!

I appreciate Mr. Graff so much. Pete comes to him upset and says he needs money. My first reaction would… probably not be too dissimilar to Mr. Graff’s, though I’d want to know why he wanted the money and I’d want to talk to him about it first. Especially since there is no weapon, Graff has no reason not to try and calm Pete down and reason with him.

Heck, Mr. Graff seems like the type who would put Pete back on a bus to Chicago himself, if that was what made Pete truly happy.

I vote that Mr. Graff, Pete, and Margaret all run away together to a better movie. Graff can raise Pete like his own son, and they can take Margaret with them so she can be her own person instead of a supporting character in an awful movie.

Pete: you’re as crazy as Scott! This whole town is crazy!

Actually, I agree, this whole town is crazy.

Pete goes off on a rant. He doesn’t want the money, he wants people to try and stop him. He starts trashing the store. He gets out a baseball bat and starts bashing things.

This scene doesn’t make narrative sense, but I’ll try to make sense out of it anyway. Pete is flipping out because he doesn’t want to go back to Chicago, he wants to be stopped. He feels out of control and wants someone to stop him. I can relate to that. Sort of.

At the same time, I can’t help but feel like it doesn’t fit in with Pete’s established character. I can’t help but think this movie just took a turn for the downright weird. I get the feeling the producer was just tired of the story and wanted to end it. Or…something.

Scott shows up to try and talk to Pete. Pete has a broom handle (not a baseball bat as I originally thought) and threatens to crack Scott upside the head. I wish he would, frankly. Unfortunately for Pete, he’s not the hero of this story.

Scott: I just wanna know what you really want! I’ve done everything I can to show you that I accept you for who you are–

No, Scott, you haven’t. You’ve continued to be a goody goody prick who acts like he is better than Pete. You never once asked him about what really happened in Chicago, or done anything to show Pete that you really care. All you’ve done is turn into a doormat and let him walk all over you. Oh, and you’ve stalked him. That’s hardly showing him that you care.

At least Scott here admits that Pete was right about Scott being selfish, but then he goes on to say “and I’ve tried to show you that.”

Too little too late? I mean, I haven’t seen Scott change much at all, really. I’ve just seen him get a little more sneaky.

Scott: I’m confused Pete, what do you want?

Pete: I want you to hate me!

Scott: why?

Pete: because I hate myself!

Scott: Pete you’re my friend

(no he’s not!)

Scott: I can’t hate you, can’t you accept that?

Pete: NO!

He throws down the broom handle and runs away, never to be seen again. Which is unfortunate because he really is the most interesting character in the whole movie.

Afterwards Mr. Graff gives Scott a hug. Scott apologizes, though it’s not clear what he’s apologizing for.

The police show up. They are looking for Pete. We’re made to understand he’s run away. Margaret found out that he’s back in Chicago, living with a member of the old gang instead of Aunt Bitch. But Aunt Bitch knows where he lives, apparently, because she gives Margaret Pete’s address to give to Scott. Odd that Pete even let her know?

Time passes. Scott writes Pete lots of letters. Time passes. Pete never writes back, but this time Scott doesn’t stop when he does, and keeps writing.

Props, I guess, for keeping on writing?

Scott writes “you should see Margaret in her new contacts.” right, like she couldn’t be pretty with glasses you stupid bitch.

At the end of the montage, Scott walks into his house, to find an ambush.

Scott’s reaction:

Has someone died?

Everyone looks very solemn.

I’m sure people are wondering who died?

Scott: What’s going on, what happened?

Reverend: It’s about Pete

Pete’s grandpa (do we ever learn his name?): I just got a letter from his aunt today

Scott’s dad: I want you to know it doesn’t always turn out this way

I’m sure we’re supposed to get the impression that Pete has died. Which isn’t actually an impossibility here, since we are talking about gang activity.


Margaret: I’m really proud of you

Well jee, if THAT didn’t just give it away….

Scott: someone please tell me what’s going on:?

He looks angry/upset. I don’t blame him, in this situation, so would I. For once, I sympathize with Scott.

Tom: Mr. turner, we oughta have the mumble reverend? Read the letter, he’s had experience dealing with this type of thing.

Rev: dear Mr. turner, I know I haven’t written you since last year when I told you that Pete had come back to town and was staying with some of the other members of the gang. I was reading the paper the other day when I saw his name in the article that I was reading.

The reverend then hands the article over to Scott, Scott’s mother gives him a kind look.

Scott reads aloud; today at 2 o’clock, the mayor Chicago honored the first gang in the city’s history…. the gang’s leader was Pete turner

Note that he is Pete Turner and not Pete Valdez. He has therefore given up on connecting with his Hispanic roots (because Hispanics are bad, mmmkay? cuz they’re all gangs!)

Newspaper article(continuing): Mr. Turner’s gang is most unusual. Mr. Turner tells his gang, if you accept yourself for who you are, and truly love others, a lot of good will happen. This gang, which only a few months ago, was typical of those often found in the area, refuses to fight, or participate in any kind of illegal activity. Instead they devote much of their time to helping and serving the community around them.

End of article. Hydrangea Boy starts singing, “you got the right one baby, uh huh, uh huh!”

Everybody comes up and hugs Scott. They give him a high five, like he is somehow responsible. Why? Scott was not the one who turned Pete around. In fact, given the timeline, there is no reason to think Scott had any influecne on Pete’s life…. it could’ve been someone else.

But even if it was… PETE turned Pete’s life around, not Scott. Because, even if Scott had some influence (and there was no reason to think this is so) Scott is not the one responsible for getting Pete back on the straight and narrow. Because in the end. we alone are responsible for our own actions.

I like the fact that he never came back to Elkridge, but instead chose a life in Chicago. Because Pete is not his “bad” self, but no longer is he his “old” self. I’m going to quote Dr. Who On this, because I think he said it best:

The Doctor: We all change. When you think about it, we’re all different people all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.

This is what I’ve been trying to say in all the weeks I’ve been reviewing The Buttercream Gang. Pete can never be the same person he was. He must become a new person. But that’s ok, because, we all change.

The scene switches to the treehouse, because we’ve got one more thing to wrap up.

Scott: hey guys, I forgot to tell you I got a letter from Pete today

Unseen boy: really? What did he say?

Scott: well, just some stuff about his new gang. Oh he wants to make sure that we tell Mr. graff he’s sorry. He even sent him $20.

Even for 1992, I don’t remember that being a heck of a lot. But back in the 1990s, I was rich, so $20 was one week’s allowance. By the time I saw this movie, $20 wasn’t a big deal. Someone can tell me whetheror not in the late 1980s when this was definitely shot, $20 was a big deal, but to me it’s not. And even in the late 90s when I saw this movie, it wasn’t. Heh.

Margaret: guys, I’ve been thinking

Scott: about what?

Hint: NOT PETE! For some stupid reason this movie is continuing even though the main plot point has been resolved.

Margaret: Well now there’s a Chicago chapter of the Buttercream gang

Buttercream boy (Scott?): well yeah, so?

Buttercream boy 2: well I think it’s cool

Margaret: well there’s another change the Buttercreamers need to make

The Buttercream Boys all look confused.

Margaret: I think it’s time for the Buttercreamers to have a girl member

Go Margaret!I actually think that time would’ve been 20 years ago but whatever, better late than never, right? Heh.

The boys all roll their eyes. They don’t seem to to be too happy about this idea, but Margaret thinks they’d be able to help with a lot of things. I agree, I don’t see why this has remained an all boys club for so long. Feminism has been a thing since AT LEAST the 1970s. So really, there should’ve been at least ONE female Buttercreamer before now. Especially since women and girls are socialized to be the “helpers” of society.

I swear I had a screenshot of Scott kissing Margaret but I can’t find it and suddenly, ever since I downloaded Mavericks, the link to The Buttercream Gang movie doesn’t work. So, kissing him (chastely, on the cheek, of course)….this is how she convinces him.

“Just think about it,” she says.

Wow, what an…. I don’t…. I don’t even know how to react to that. Holy shit, like she can only convince him by…. by kissing/arousing him? WHAT?!

The other boys look on in shock/horror.

A bike rider comes up to the treehouse. Apparently the widow Jenkins has fallen again.

Margaret: we’ll be right down Regina! Come on Scott let’s go! She begins to descend. The boys look rather reluctant, but they end up following her.

There’s some corny sounding “Buttercreamers, let’s ride!”

“Yahoo!” (yes, they do actually shout, yahoo!!!”

The last shot is of the Buttercreamers riding off into the sunset– I mean, to widow Jenkins to help her. The credits begin to flash on the screen.

Now, a few words about the main actors:

Pete: Michael D Weatheredd

Scott: Jason Johnson

Brandon Blaser: Wlton

Michale Scott, who is credited as the reverend/coach (I was right!)

Ivan A Crosland: Mr. Graff

This is interesting. The following article talks about 4 of the stars: Lanny, Eldon Scott, and Margaret. Why oh why does the article not talk about Michael Weatheredd? I don’t know. here’s the link:

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/286745/ACTING-BUG-BITES-4-YOUNG-UTAHNS.html?pg=all this article was published April 23, 1992.
Michael D Weatheredd is not that easy to find. However, he had a cameo in the modern Brady Bunch

He was Clifford on an episode of Family Matters entitled: Revenge of the Nerd

He has a twitter, in which it seems he outs himself as a gay Christian, and good for him! I am glad he can still retain his faith while also acknowledging his identity.

Here is his full videography: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0915766/

Apparently he had an appearance in 1996 on A Very Brady Sequel (modern, 1990s) Along with The Stand, Family Matters as Cliff in Revenge of the Nerd, and a bunch of other stuff I don’t recognize. Of all the main characters he’s the only one who seems to have gone on to do other stuff.

Try as I might, I can NOT figure out when the actor was born. I originally guessed him at 17 or 18, but given that Scott and Elton and Lanny are around that age give or take, I could be very wrong, or he could just be lucky enough to look older than the rest, we don’t get to know.

Jason Johnson is a bit harder to track down, due to the popularity of his last name. However, I did find out that:

1. He was born in 1977 and therefore 15 at the time of this movie.

Wow. I never would have guessed that. My oldest guess had him at 14, with him starting out as and most likely remaining 13. Well, I should be the last person to criticize that since, at 25, I still look 12. So, at the age of 15, acting like you’re 13-14 ish isn’t bad. Which makes me REALLY wonder how old Mike was when he played Pete. Unfortunately I have yet to find his birth-date after eons of googling.

2. Jason Johnson makes an appearance in the sequel, which I will be reviewing (If I can find it for free on the internet) even though I said I wouldn’t. He also stars in Ski Patrol as Brat, whatever that means.

I had a hard time getting info on him, because Johnson is a common last name. It is unknown whether he is still A Christian to this day.

3. According to the article linked to above (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/286745/ACTING-BUG-BITES-4-YOUNG-UTAHNS.html?pg=all) he was not supposed to get the part. But apparently they had trouble with their first choice, so they went with him.

3.Brandon Blaser,

you will all be pleased (or not) to note that the same actor is returning the sequel, The Buttercream Gang and something something treasure. That’s great cuz Elton was portrayed as somewhat of a buffoon in this movie, so I’m wondering how the sequel will be.

It doesn’t appear he has done any other movies.

He was born in 1975, making him…. *calculates* 17 years old at the time this movie was shot. wow. I never would have guessed that either. Did they purposely pick baby faced adult actors? (with the exception of Pete?)

4. Margaret– Played by Stephanie Dees. Was 14 at the time of this movie. Or 15, depending on her birthday. Here is the link to her filmography: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0214419/

She was Jenny on a movie called “chase the slut” and Heather in Evil of Clear River. I’m guessing she didn’t stay a goody goody.

Aaaaand that’s it, we’re done, at least, with this movie. Next post will probably be The Donut Repair Club and then, MAYBE another veggie tales movie if depression doesn’t cripple me. If not, I’ll try to find a place to watch The Buttercream Gang 2 online for free.

Have a good week everyone!

The Buttercream Gang Part 12

Today’s post is going to be a short one, on account of the fact that I feel very sick. Said sickness might or might not be a result of too much partying….

Anyway, I also didn’t take any screenshots during these scenes because I didn’t think I needed to. I’m debating going to get some just because the post feels incomplete without them, but no one wants to see Scotty Boy in his tight baseball pants.

It’s the day of the championship. The whole town turns out to cheer on “the boys.” seriously, why are there no girls on these teams?

Lots of baseball… I don’t care.

Even I can tell their team sucks. It’s announced that this one kid hasn’t had a hit in 8 games. Jeez, way to embarrass the kid. He’s really going to do well if you bring THAT up. Way to boost his confidence.

Scotty boy’s team starts cheering for him the minute he gets to the plate. Because they couldn’t have done that for the no hit in 8 games kid. Asses.

Anyway, more baseball, I don’t care.

Suddenly their team doesn’t suck. Suddenly they’re beating the other team 14 to nothing. I’m sorry, but I find games like that really boring. It’s no fun if one team is whooping everybody else.

Seriously this game drags on. And on. And on and on and on and on and….

Oh look, here’s Pete to make this more interesting for me. How thoughtful of him. He starts cheering for the opposite team as Scott’s on and I am kind of with him. I like to root for the underdog. And then we get this:

“You let your team down just like your friends!”

Go Pete, you tell ‘im!

More baseball… I don’t care.

Because of Pete, the entire team gets discouraged…. yanno, Pete’s only been yelling at Scott. So unless Scott’s been carrying the entire fuckin team, this doesn’t strike me as realistic at all. The rest of the team has no reason to be so discouraged all of a sudden.

Elton Flowers is up to bat, and very discouraged. Scott’s team mates are not helping. “Come on Elton, don’t freeze up NOW!” They scream at him.

And we’re supposed to think that Pete is bringing the team down with his words? I think poor Elton’s team is doing a good enough job of that for…

Wait… this kid’s last name is…. Flowers? SNORT that’s awesome. From now on, whenever I can catch his name, Elton is going to be known as The Flower Child.

Even the other team feels sorry for him. One of the pitcher’s team mates tells him to take it easy on the kid. Now that is sad. I actually feel really bad for Elton because he clearly sucks.

I think I hear Pete calling out something negative, which seems odd because so far his criticisms have only been directed at Scotty Boy, but Elton bats a double, whatever the hell that means.

Scott starts yelling at Pete that “he’s not just hurting him, he’s hurting the whole team!”

Why? Pete’s just yelling at Scott. He’s clearly not trying to bring the whole team down, he’s just trying to bring Scott down.

And frankly, it’s not Pete’s fault that they’re losing. Scott, in fact, is letting what Pete says get to him. I know how hard it is to ignore that crap, but frankly, Scott isn’t hearing this every single day of his life like I did. This is just an isolated incident, which is much easier to ignore. He really needs to just get over himself, try not to let it get to him, and play baseball.

Pete, responds to Scott’s accusation rather calmly, that Scott is not his friend, but rather his enemy.

Some guy comes and yells at Scott that the games not over yet, and he needs to get back in the game. Take that, Scotty boy!

And then Pete’s grandfather proves he is an ass.

Grandpa: I’m sorry Scott, I wish there was something I could do.

Um, what? Listen, my parents would not have been thrilled with me if I had displayed that kind of behavior but they never would’ve thrown me under the bus like that. They probably would’ve taken me home, or said something encouraging to the kid like, “Just concentrate on the game.” or “you can still take it back,” or… I don’t know. Grandpa apologizing for Pete’s behavior just totally rubs me the wrong way.

Scott continues to be a total ass.

Scott: you can send him back to Chicago where he belongs!

Our hero, folks. This is the guy who is lauded for sticking by Pete even though he makes bad decisions! This is the guy who is praised for sticking by his friend and loving him through it!

You know what Scott sounds like? Scott sounds like the friends I know who left me the minute I no longer seemed like a proper Christian. Actually, no, Scott sounds worse than that because, even during the teenage years, they never would’ve said anything like that. Out loud, anyway.

Poor Pete. Does anybody actually love him in this movie? Even his grandpa, instead of confronting him about his behavior in private, makes excuses and “apologizes” in front of everyone that Pete knows. Hell, if I was Pete, I’d be pissed off.

Scott’s coach pulls Scott away from the fence. Scott apologizes, but I can tell he doesn’t mean it. What an asshole.

Oh snap, he’s not going to play baseball, Scott got thrown out of the game. Good, because that game was getting to be “the baseball game that never ended,” plus Scotty Boy deserves it.

After the game the coach talks to him. Scott admits he “lost his cool” and that “Scott took a pretty good ribbing.” Really? Because I’ve heard sooooo much worse. I know it’s a kid’s movie, but I feel like Pete didn’t say anything that bad to him.

Scott and his coach have batting practice as Coach gives Scotty Boy a lesson in history, kindness, and turning the other cheek. “an eye for an eye makes the world blind.”

Probably, but yanno, I honestly think that if Scott just fought Pete, he’d gain his respect, and the boys would probably go back to being friends afterward. I can’t say why, it just seems the way these things work sometimes.

Anyway, after Scott bats a few good pitches, he and the coach take off.

Will Scott finally give in and fight Pete, or will be “do the right thing” and turn the other cheek? This particular plot line gets dragged out on and on and… and we’ve already seen part of it, haven’t we? When Pete and Scott spend the day together instead of fighting. Well folks, be prepared for more of Scotty boy attempting to do just that by doing what he and his friends do best: stalking people! Plus, romantic tension between Scott and Margaret! Oh the drama! The suspense!

Excuse me, I think I’m going to go vomit again.

The Buttercream Gang, Part 9 (I think? I lost track. I hate numbers)

Elton and Lanny are getting fed up with Pete not doing his share of the work. They are at the tree-house complaining about it. I have no idea what that kid on the stationary bike is doing; looks like he’s pulling up something, but I can’t see it.

 

Scott: so?

Boy: so why’re you still defending him?

I agree with the boy, actually. If the whole point of the club is to help people, and Pete isn’t… then yeah Pete should be kicked out of the club. I get that Scott wants to defend his friend, I would too. But if he’s not fulfilling his club requirements then… well, Lanny and Elton are right, Pete should be kicked out.

The boys eventually get Scott to agree: if he doesn’t start pulling his weight, Pete’s out. I can totally get behind this.

I can not get behind how Scott delivers the news. We’ll get to that in a bit.

Margaret: hey boys, are you up there? Hey Scott, are you up there?

Well no dip, diptick. You can clearly hear them, use our brain, god! I know you’ve got one. Well, maybe not, actually…

Elton and Lanny are getting fed up with Pete not doing his share of the work. They are at the tree-house complaining about it. I have no idea what that kid on the stationary bike is doing; looks like he’s pulling up something, but I can’t see it.

 

Scott: so?

Boy: so why’re you still defending him?

I agree with the boy, actually. If the whole point of the club is to help people, and Pete isn’t… then yeah Pete should be kicked out of the club. I get that Scott wants to defend his friend, I would too. But if he’s not fulfilling his club requirements then… well, Lanny and Elton are right, Pete should be kicked out.

The boys eventually get Scott to agree: if he doesn’t start pulling his weight, Pete’s out. I can totally get behind this.

I can not get behind how Scott delivers the news. We’ll get to that in a bit.

Margaret: hey boys, are you up there? Hey Scott, are you up there?

Well no dip, dipstick. You can clearly hear them, use our brain, god! I know you’ve got one. Well, maybe not, actually…

Boy: honks bike horn

Boy 2: How’d you know we were here?

Margaret: stop kidding me–

Boy: honks horn: I’ll tell you when you can talk

So,

  1. Apparently their treehouse is an open secret
  2. I’ll tell you when you can talk? Excuse me? She is a PERSON YOU FUCKTARDS. I know, I know. But I am SO SICK of women being treated as lesser beings, being told when they’re supposed to talk and when they’re supposed to keep silent. Admittedly this is not a problem limited to conservative Christianity but in any context it is a problem. And I see it as especially problematic here because clearly the boys don’t see Margaret as a person, otherwise they wouldn’t be all “I’ll tell you when you can talk women.” They see her as “other,” as a girl who shouldn’t get to talk unless they say so. Douchebags.Even Pete and his gang give her more credit when they call her “a snitch.”

I hate Scott and his gang right now.

Margaret: Can I talk now?

Buttercream Boy:  Ok

Margaert: is Scott up there? And don’t lie to me Elton I know the answer is yes

THEN WHY ARE YOU ASKING YOU—

but at the same time, I love this girl. She knows Scott is up there and she’s not taking no for an answer. Good for you Margaret! You tell ’em.

Scott: it’s cool guys, what’s up Margaret?

M: I came to collect on that favor you owe me

boy 1: you owe Margaret a favor?

Boy2: that’s worse than dog breath

Scott: very funny

Assholes.

Margaet: well, Pete and his friends have been stealing from Mr. Fraff, they’ve been picking on little kids

Margaret: And Regina and her friends say they’ve been doing all sorts of things

Like what, M? What sorts of different things have they been doing that are in any way connected to gang activity? You’re the one who’s done the research, supposedly, you should know this. You should be able to give specifics.

I like Margaret, but she can be so DUMB at times, and that’s the rub. These authors can have a girl be smart, but they can’t have her be TOO smart, because they can’t have their females be smarter than the boys, yanno.

M: this is serious Scott, I think you need to do something.

By the way, this kid is a terrible actor. But moving on from that.

Scott: Well what am I supposed to do?

Margaret: Stand up to him, it’s the only thing he’ll understand

Maybe she’s right. Maybe in the world Pete’s been living in, confrontation is the only way to do things. I think Margaret might be correct here, though my first response is to disagree.

Scott: Ok, I’ll talk to him. See ya Margaret

Jeez, even back in the early 1990s when I was growing up and most other boys thought girls had cooties, they wouldn’t have dismissed a girl so quickly like that. At least, not the boys *I* hung out with, which were all very respectable children.

Margaret: not so fast, you still owe me a favor

Scott: well I though talking to Pete was the favor

Margaret: No, that’s just the right thing to do

Hold on; telling Scott about Pete was the right thing to do? Whoaaaaaa back the truck UP.

Spying on Pete, which, btw, its totally creepy, and then reporting to Scott, is the right thing to do. That’s the only reason why Margaret is doing this. She’s not doing this because, say, SHE CARES ABOUT PETE?!

She’s not concerned about Pete. She thinks it’s the right thing to do. Now, you could argue that she thinks it’s the right thing to do because she’s concerned about Pete, but…. I haven’t seen that. So far I’ve only seen her and Regina and Regina’s gang be concerned about Pete because Pete looks like there’s a “mystery” to solve. I’ve seen them spying on Pete. I’ve seen  no one, so far, concerned about Pete’s welfare. And if the grownups thought he was in a gang, they would talk to him about it. Because grownups would know that gang activity is dangerous, and if they cared about Pete, they would talk to him about it. They would want to protect him from that.

Margaret and her friends, however, don’t care about Pete’s welfare. They don’t care that he’s getting into dangerous things (which, btw, he’s not) they just care because it’s the right thing to do.

I’ve seen people argue that they don’t want to show the dangerous side of gangs in a children’s movie.

Fine, but they could still show some gang related things, like, actual robbery, not petty theft, smoking cigarettes, drinking, fighting…. (maybe just fist fights, not with knives) still, they could’ve shown actual gang relates activity that wouldn’t have been too traumatic.

I see no reason, so far, to assume that Pete is involved in a gang. He’s made bad friend choices, but that’s hardly the same thing.

Margaret: the favor is you’re taking me to the dance. Pick me up at 7, and don’t be late.

And then she leaves.

Can I just say that I really like Margaret? I think she’s dumb for choosing Scott, but this is a movie, so she was obligated. But she is going to be as sassy about is as possible, dangit. She has her sights set on her man, and she knows how to get him. Now if she could just pick a DECENT boy… well, in my head cannon she dumps him after this movie and gets on with her life and becomes an extremely successful woman and Scotty cries in a corner about how he could’ve had her but was too shallow to see what an awesome woman she is.

Alas, even in the sequel, that doesn’t happen.

Scott’s friends tease him about this, which I find very realistic, though highly annoying.

Apple hates me. It won’t let me download music because I can’t remember my security questions. Well, that’s not true, I just can’t remember my security answers WORD PERFECT, and on the website it won’t let me… rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrerw I hate apple. It used to be good but now I hate it because it’s AWFUL. I should also note that I know my password word perfect, BUT since I have no idea what my security questions were, apple’s too stupid to let me download things EVEN THOUGH I REMEMBER MY GODDAMMN PASSWORD because duuuuuh what’s the security question cuz I’m two stwopid….duuuuuuh duuuuuh duuuuuh.

Anyway, Scott is pissed: I have papers to hand out *starts climbing down treehouse ladder*

Scott’s friends: Aw come on Scott, we’re sorry.

Scott ignores them, and I would too.

Elton and Lanny offer to help Scott with his papers, but in my pinion this is too little too late, but THE MOVIE DOESN’T CARE.

Yes, I’m drunk as fuck and really jaded, and I don’t give a shit.

Boys: Scott and Margaret sittin’ in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G can I shoot them? Please? no? FINE.

In the next scene, we are shown Pete and his gang biking in a circle around Margaret. This is the best screenshot I could get:

SNITCH!

They are teasing her about being a snitch, and what they’re going to do to her if she doesn’t stop spying on them.

I like this. A lot.

  1. She has been spying on them, and that’s obnoxious
  2. the scene will strike grownups as actually dangerous for Margarette, because we know what some gangs do to young women….
  3. it will seem scary to children as well, because they know what it’s like to be teased. Yet at the same time, it won’t scare them too much, because they are unaware of what happens to young women in situations like that. I think when I was a kid, I assumed Margaret was either just being teased, or was about to get punched. I didn’t think what I’m thinking now as an adult, which is…. holy shit are they going to rape her? Though I doubt, from what we’ve seen, that Pete is a rapist of small children, the adults watching this movie are going to have that in the backs of their heads.

In my opinion Scott waits WAY too long before interfering. But interfere he does, finally, crashing into Pete’s bike. They claim they’re having fun, but Scott says it doesn’t look like she’s having any fun. ßd;=di;;t whle ht eab. n

Scotty: bye Margaret

Margaerte leaves. Smart girl, she knows when to hightail it on out of there.

Pete says they’re just having a little fun. Scott suggests pete look the word “fun” up in the dictionary.

Pete: who cares about that?

I admit, Scott’s comeback was a little lame. Apparently Pete thinks this is fun for him, even If it wasn’t for her.

Let me be clear: Pete’s behavior is NOT OK. However, he thinks it’s fun, therefore, he doesn’t need to look fun up in the dictionary.

Pete: are you going to ruin our friendship over that geek girl?

Scott: no you’re gonna ruin it

I can get behind Scott here, until–

Scott: the Buttercreamers had a meeting. If you don’t start carrying your share of the work, you’re out.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this except that Scott is saying this in front of Pete’s new friends, who clearly think the Buttercream gang is stupid.

Scott should not have done this. Scott should have asked to talk to Pete privately. Because saying this in front of his friends is only going to embarrass him. Pete is now going to have to choose between Scott and his new friends in front of his new friends. And that’s not cool to do to anyone.

In Which I watch The Buttercream Gang, The LSD song, AKA Dreams of a Better Day, AKA Pete’s Song

This is the 5th time I have had to edit this post. First because typos, and then second because wordpress deleted all the pictures for some reason. Normally I don’t hate wordpress even when frustrated with it, but this time I’m REALLY  pissed off, because now I have to go through 4 back posts and re put all the images. rrrrrrr. Also, I updated this twice, but apparently wordpress only published the non updated version? Ugh. Maybe I DO need to move my blog.

So, I apologize for all the roughness and uneditedness you have had to deal with. It’s making me want to scream, too.

Also, even though I updated this 4 times, for some reason wordpress only published the original edition that I had only saved as a draft…. I’m about ready to ragequit this website.

So, I had to make a special booze run in order to do this for you guys tonight. Well, actually, I didn’t just want to do it for you, I wanted to do it for me, because it’s been driving ME crazy that I haven’t made any posts in a few days. Most of the reasons have been good (Ren Fest, Herbal refreshment (I mean mint tea, jeez!)) and some have been, well…. I got stuck working late on Monday, which isn’t actually a bad thing, because more hours=more money, and I was needed, so I don’t begrudge my boss at all. And I’m not just saying that because I’m giving him the link to this blog, because I just found out Hook is one of his favorite Robin Williams movies.

No, I actually respect my bosses. There are 4 of them, and I don’t like all 4 of them, but I respect all 4 of them. I don’t think I’ve ever had a boss I disrespected at Jimmy Johns, unless we’re counting Rich as a boss. Which I don’t, because, he’s not. Anyway, the minute the booze kicks in, onto the recap!

So, Youtube might have had the entire movie taken down due to copyright issues BUT, there’s no copyright against posting the song, and the video footage that goes with it.

for some reason, wordpress isn’t letting me put the song in quotes without putting the WHOLE POST in quotes. I really need to figure out what wordpress has done to themselves, because they used to be very good about such things. So I apologize if this post is a bit discombobulated.

You may listen to this song at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6Ke8-egduI

Apparently this song was written by Kurt Bestor. I am trying to imbed the youtube video but it appears that it doesn’t want to work. Fine. So, here are the lyrics.

Looking back on a younger man
Long ago and far away
Living in an age of innocence
In the shadows of a brighter day
Time stood still and it never seemed
That our worlds could grow apart
It was all for one, and one for all
Straight from the heart

Those summer rains
That we hoped would never end
Wash away troubles and sorrow
And starry nights when each wish came true
Can’t you send all those yesterday to tomorrow?

Won’t you please tell me where to find him?
And that life with a story book end?
Can’t you please tell me where you find him?
Maybe’s he’s found in a fairy tale
With those dream of a better day

Life on the streets has taught me
To see the world through different eyes
What was love your neighbor as yourself
Now hides behind the lies
You start thinking you can have it all
The world is yours to take
So you fill your cup with emptiness
And promises you make

Bring back these rains
And wash my cares away
And dry my eyes with the sun light
And on that star only one small wish I pray
Bring him home again

Won’t you please tell me where to find him?
And that life with a story book end?
Can’t you please tell me where you find him?
Maybe’s he’s found in a fairy tale
With those dream of a better day

Unfortunately, I have to retake almost all screenshots again because my hard drive had to be whipped, and picture files are harder to ave than word files. So, this might take me a while. This is going to be frustrating, but I’m trying to count my blessings. I told my friend from Norway “I hope this is a quick and cheap fix.”

Let’s take the first verse:

Looking back on a younger man
Long ago and far away
Living in an age of innocence
In the shadows of a brighter day
Time stood still and it never seemed
That our worlds could grow apart
It was all for one, and one for all
Straight from the heart

So, the first verse kinda seems like…. like an adult is looking back on their childhood. Because, the only age of innocence I can think of is like…. ages 5-12. And I only go up to age 5 on that because ages 1-3 I don’t have very many memories of.

Frankly, I am shocked that Pete has managed to make it to… 8th grade? This movie never establishes how old the characters are exactly but it talks about them going into high school next year, so we’ll go with 8th grade. I am shocked that Pete has made it all the way to 8th grade without having “the age of innocence” shattered. It feels like for me it happened much earlier.

The shadows of a brighter day…. I do remember brighter days….. dimly.

The world between me and my friends grew apart…. but even back then we were never

all for one and one for all

straight from the heart

So, like the 3 musketeers, then? I guess The Buttercreamers were like the 3 musketeers. Er, the 4 musketeers, since back when Pete was apart of them, there were 4.

This song…. makes half sense to me when I’m drunk. If sober, I don’t have a prayer of understanding what the hell it is talking about… an adult trying to go back to the peace and innocence of childhood? That is the best I am coming up with and it is not good.

Why the hell did this song, did this movie, have any impact on me whatsoever?

I must have been a very very stupid child. Anyway…

Yes, the world is generally more innocent seeming in childhood. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that innocence, I really do. But I Think adulthood is what broke me of that state, not going away from what was “right.” Leaving God did not cause me to become a very jaded individual. Growing up did, and I think it’s like that for everybody.

And… I wouldn’t go back to childhood. I…I just wouldn’t.

So, during the first verse we are shown this:

We never do find out who these guys are, so I’ve decided to call them Jason (left) and right (Greg). Don’t expect me to keep their faces straight now….

Ugh. My computer is cooperating sooooo little that I’m about ready to start screaming. A;OWERHTWO;RAEHTEUARHGWRURWUORT;WET8AEHTUIEATHETH

ok, I’m done. For now. Anyway, back to the song.

We are then shown, as the song begins, Pete biking with his gang (wait, how is Pete biking when it will be established before and after that he has no bike? Consistency people, it needs to exist.)

Scott and his boyfriends are fishing, swimming, and generally shown having fun unless they are helping out some old lady mow her lawn. Pete and his gang, on the other hand, are getting into horrible things such as….

Well, at first Pete is shown hanging out a little bit with the Buttercreamers, but then leaving as soon as they start to do actual work. I do not blame Pete for this, for the record. After a bit, it sounds like something I would do. I might like helping people a little bit, but after a year or so of this, I’d get very tired of it very fast.

We then see the 3 boys doing different things as the girls watch solemnly through the daisies, thinking they’re inconspicuous. Pete is shown hanging out with this new gang AND Scott and his crew. It is clear he’s trying to straddle both worlds and….

I don’t blame him. I’ve been there. Wanting to hang onto my religious friends like Jacq and Brittney, while knowing I really fit in better with… well, less religious people.

Actually, now that I think about it, these shots of Pete hanging out with Scott and the gang might be flashbacks. Maybe. No, they’re not; Pete is shown starting to work with them, but then bailing out, saying he’s gotta go. I don’t blame him. If I were Pete’s age, I would not want to spend my time mowing lawns for people. I’d want to be doing my own thing as a young person. As most young people want to do. Helping people is great, but I’d want my own life. Maybe Pete is starting to realize that.

Pete and his new gang must be blind not to see the girls spying on them

Nope, totally not spying on Peter at all

As a side note, I used to have a blue jumper like that. I mostly wore it to Greater Lansing SDA School, and only because they only allowed girls to wear ugly jumpers, back in my day, rather than pretty dresses.

In any Case….

The boys are caught doing such horrible things such as:

  1. Pete and his gang pick up the little kids off the seesaw, and then play on the seesaw themselves. Really? What teenagers even play on the playground in front of little kids, let alone physically take them off the seesaw? Seriously. My friends and I only ever played on playground equipment when we thought no one was looking. This was at age 13-15 or so, when we actually cared about such things. Which Pete and his friends are at that age. They’re not at the age where they don’t care what people say, so they wouldn’t do this In public, let alone physically remove 4-5 year olds from a teeter totter. Also, 4-5 year olds, even in 1992, would be at least partially supervised. Even back then, there would have had to have been at least ONE adult at the playground. The age of unsupervised 5 year olds was at least a decade past at the time this movie was shot. Someone would have noticed. Seriously.

Don’t get me wrong, this is bullying, however, at least they’re not causing the children physical harm. This is evidence that they are doing wrong, but a gang would’ve…. done worse things, I think.

Next, we are shown a scene of Pete and his new gang stealing some poor kid’s school lunch. This is wrong, and something I might punch Pete over, but then, this is Elkridge, he probably won’t starve for too long… missing one meal isn’t going to hurt him in a town like this. At least, It wouldn’t in my town, and my town is about the size of Elkridge… and now we’re bringing up bad memories so I’d better stop.

Pete and his gang also (I apologize, wordpress is NOT letting me change the numbers)

  1. Smashing glass bottles on railroad tracks while this girl watches through the daisies

This was honestly the best screenshot I could get…. the video doesn’t show her whole face….

A random shot of Pete getting upset at his gang for spilling potato chips:

  1. setting fires out in the middle of nowhere and running

life on the streets has taught me

to see the world through different eyes

Does it ever occur to people that this is a good thing? I mean, seeing the world through different eyes can open up your mind to the struggles other people face, to the things other people go through… it makes you more understanding, more flexible in your thinking. It’s not always a bad thing, in fact, usually it’s a good thing, and very character building for the individual.

Not so to the girls glancing through the daisies. They are thinking yup, this is definitely gang related activity. I mean, by that definition, -I- am in a gang. Because of the smashing glass bottles and hanging out with people who steal things, not that I’ve ever bullied small children on the playground. Or outright stolen lunches from kids. I might’ve stolen food from the church pantry, but I’ve never actually taken a kid’s lunch from him.

Actually, I told the pastor’s wife I stole from the church pantry, and she told me that if I was that hungry, I could just have it. Did I ever mention that the pastor’s wife was just awesome? Because, she was. But again, that’s another blog post. I need to not go on a rant here.

While Pete, Jason and Greg are off on “gang related” activity, Scotty, Lanny, and Elton, are picking up trash by the side of the highway.

I’ve done that before, picked up trash by the side of the highway. I did it with my Christian school and…. honestly it wasn’t too fun. The gloves gave me a rash. I’m not sure if they were latex gloves or not, but just in case, I tell people I’m allergic to latex. Looking back, it might’ve been the powder in the gloves, but… I don’t know. Something about those gloves hated me. It was fun being with my friends, but it was not fun picking up trash. (we looked like community service people who’d committed a crime) and it was not fun having a rash all over my hands for reasons I’m not sure of, to this day. Not to mention the times we almost got run over by a car.

So basically, I  don’t blame Pete for not wanting to do this. In fact, even as an adult, I would not do this. There are other ways of helping people, in my humble opinion.

You start thinking you can have it all
The world is yours to take
So you fill your cup with emptiness
And promises you make

Seriously, what the hell does this even mean? Ummm you stat thinking you can steal whatever you want? Fill your cup with emptiness and promises… I don’t… I’m sorry, I can’t even make sense of that nonsense. Feel free to talk about it in the comments (of the thread on FJ) but…. even drunk I have no idea. Being sober just makes it worse, because then I have ABSOLUTELY no idea.

And seriously, why shouldn’t someone take what the world has to offer? Why is the world being something you can reach out to take a bad thing?

Pete’s gang bikes slowly in front of a truck on a public road. This is….something that would be dangerous where I live now. In a small town, the truck would just honk at them like it is doing in the movie…. I can see this is plausible…. Pete and his friends are being obnoxious jerks but…. again, this does not strike me as gang behavior. Though it could strike me as suicidal behavior.

Pete and his gang run through an orchard throwing what looks like under ripe apples at each other. Scott and the Butter-creamers are shown white washing a fence (Tom Sawyer fooled them, ha!) While Mrs. Whoever brings out lemonade.

Oooooh Pete and his gang are shown writing bad words on the school door. We’re not shown WHAT the bad words ARE, mind you, because this is a children’s movie made my Mormons.

I’m sure we can all figure out the rest…

Ugh. I have the drunchies. I’m gonna go munch on a carrot.

Scott and the Buttercreamers are shown harvesting the same orchard Pete and his friends were running through earlier. In other words, being a goody two shoes.

Pete and his friends definitely look like they’re having more fun. I don’t blame him at all for not wanting to be working. In his eyes, he’s probably done enough. It’s time to spend his youth having some fun.

The 4th item on the list is the only thing that is remotely dangerous. It could be argued that the fire won’t spread, but I don’t know, It looks pretty wet to me…. it could spread…. but honestly, with proper precautions, this is something I could see myself doing. I am, after all, a pyromaniac, as was my grandfather before me. I miss my grandpa… another post.

I don’t know why Pete and his gang are running away from the fire; did they use gasoline? In that case, they’d better run. Even *I* don’t use gasoline,  unless we have a way to contain it, because it kind of explodes out ward, and if you’re not far away enough it can hurt you. So, it can be argued that Pete and his friends are being cautious. If they do have a way to contain the fire, it’s not dangerous. I’m assuming they have water somewhere nearby.

Something I would totally do… minus the running away with no way to put out the fire part.

I really tried to get a good screenshot of this, but this was the best I could do. It looks to me like the boys are stealing sugar. In Which case, if I was Mr. Graff, I’d let them, what with sugar being a staple in baking and all, I’d assume they needed it for their mammas’.

won’t you please tell me where to find him?
And that life with a story book end?

Plays in the background. I…. does it mean like…. he’s trying to find the part of him that’s perfect, and he feels like it is found in a storybook? Sorry, drunk is the only way that halfway makes sense, otherwise this whole entire song is just fuckin’ nonsense.

Longing for his childhood self?

Pete’s Gang run past two girls shouting… I can’t make it out, and I’ve gone over it five times. It sounds like, “free baby!” but is probably more like… free food? I don’t know, I give up. There’s no subtitles in this. Either way, they’re being obnoxious about it, and Mr. Graff has to know what’s going on, if he’s got ears.

And…. that’s….the end of the LSD song…

I can kinda relate… this guy is trying to find his younger self, the self that was more innocent… and he now thinks that that part of himself is a fairy tale which,  yeah, it is, beyond a certain age….

But see, the thing is, this isn’t just the result of Pete “becoming bad.” This is the result of growing up. I did not become a more jaded person because I left God, I became a very jaded individual because I grew up.

And…. This is the part where I go pass out because I have had waaaaay too much alcohol. But honestly, even without the alcohol it wouldn’t make much sense. I have tried to listen to this song sober and it just doesn’t work. If it works for you, that’s great, please explain it to me. The song is officially called Shadows of a Better Day on youtube, but you can also get to it by searching for Pete’s Song. The song itself (and possibly the scenes of the movie as it plays) are not under copyright, so it shouldn’t magically disappear.

Tomorrow there will be both another Buttercream and Hook post. At least there will be a Hook post, we’ll see if I can stomach the alcohol needed to do the Buttercream Gang post.

And I’m going to try to figure out what is going on and why it won’t publish my edits and why it’s deleting my pictures.