It’s like Christmas in the library!
It’s exam week at my Local University, and someone has given me the gift of a barrel of laughs. I have
3 5 6 WHOLE CHICK TRACTS! Thanks, person who left the tracts!
Our first tract is titled: Who Is He?
Was Jesus a revolutionary? Maybe, if the Jesus Myth is based on a real person. And in Bald Guy’s defense, Jesus was probably closer to being black than he was to being white.
In case you were wondering, dear reader, unless you have grown up in a Christian home, Jack Chick does not think much of your intelligence.
I acknowledge that there may be people in America who don’t know who Jesus is. Such people are probably about 5 years old. At least in this country, most people at least have a rough understanding of the basic tenets of Christianity.
By the way, in case anyone cares, that guy who got his head cut off at a party was John the Baptist. I’m a bit fuzzy on the details, but I know there was naked dancing involved. And drinking. Probably drinking.
As to whether or not there was an actual man on whom the Jesus Myth is based… there’s someone in one of the X SDA groups who has a better answer to that than I do. Maybe I can convince him to do a guest post.
Anyway, Jesus, according to Jack Chick, is:
the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON you will ever meet.
Ok…. but this still doesn’t exactly tell me who “he” is.
What you do with him determines whether you go to heaven or hell.
You still haven’t told me who “he” is, sooooo (be quiet inner 12 year old!)
Ahem. Jesus apparently did things only a god can do. There’s a bit of a montage. Jesus healed the blind, the sick, and even raised Lazarus from the dead.
Here’s the thing. Not everybody even agrees that these are Messianic prophecies. (I personally have never understood the Genesis 3:15 one, but set that aside.) Someone better at theology than I am could probably explain more, but some of these verses are kinda taken out of context and made to say stuff the writer never meant to say.
Another problem with using proof texts to prove that Jesus is the Messiah is that it’s circular logic. It’s using the Bible to prove itself, and that just feels… kinda backward.
Are there any other sources besides the bible that document these things? I know there are other books of the Bible that never made it into the final canon, but I don’t think I’m talking about those. I’m talking about independent sources that document Jesus actually performing miracles.
If someone has a different perspective on this argument, feel free to talk about it. Otherwise, this just feels like the, “the Bible is true, because other parts of the Bible say so” argument.
The tract then goes on to talk about Jesus’ claims about Himself:
- I am the light of the world
- Before Abraham was, I am
- I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.
- I am the son of God
The fact that Jesus did lots of miracles, according to Jack Chick, proves that his claims are correct.
Ok, but, doesn’t the Bible say that there will be lots of false Christs who also perform lotsa miracles? How do we know Jesus isn’t one of those? Especially since claiming to be the Messiah was, according to what I’ve read, a popular thing to do back in the day.
The tract then goes on to talk a bit about heaven. It shows a faceless Jesus standing by a faceless God (seriously creepy) in heaven and says in big bold letter’s IT’S AWESOME!
Ok, if you say so.
Then the tract shows us all the power that Jesus holds.
Natural Selection? Evolution? Abiogenesis? That’s crazy talk!
IT’S GRAVITY YOU DUMBFUCK!
You believe God created all things, why don’t you believe he also created SCIENCE?
Moving on from Jesus’ supposed power, the tract talks for a bit about how Jesus came from heaven as a baby to save your sorry ass from–hey, what exactly is it I need to be saved from, anyway? I’m glad you asked. The tract has an answer.
Here is why we need a Saviour: because at death, all sinners will be cast into hell.
Ah yes. Jack’s favorite topic: hell. Where he’s roasting right now, according to some.
Anyway, Romans 6:23 is quoted, and then the tract tells us that “only Jesus can save our necks.”
Then the tract talks about heaven, how everyone there will have a mansion…
Just as I thought that this tract was going to focus more on the positives of Christianity, Jack Chick starts talking about the crucifixion.
When Jesus was arrested, 18 Jewish laws were broken.
The source given is a book by “Wingo” called “The Illegal Trial of Jesus.” According to my teachers in Bible class, many laws were indeed broken that night. But of course, I no longer know if I can believe anything they told me, especially since I suspect their source was Ellen White.
In any case, Pilate finds Jesus innocent, and the crowd says, “we don’t care, kill him anyway!”
There’s a montage of Jesus being tortured. You get the feeling Jack wanted to make the images more gruesome, but his editors held him back.
The tract goes on to say that Jesus did this for you, because of your sins. Good job, You! You put Jesus to death! Bad You! Bad! Then 3 days later, Jesus was resurrected and returned to heaven.
And then, after all of that, we get big bold letters saying, “Here’s who Jesus REALLY is.” So, wait, all that before was… what? It’s… it’s just kind of odd. There’s a bunch of Bible verses listed saying things like “Jesus is the wonderful counselor, the almighty God, the prince of Peace…” Which, ok, still doesn’t tell me much about who Jesus is. He’s God, I guess?
Sigh. Is it hell?
It’s Jesus! You can’t hide from Jesus, folks. Jack Chick says so.
Heaven or Hell. The choice is yours.
And that’s how it ends.
All things considered, this wasn’t actually that bad. I mean, yeah, it’s terrible, but given what I normally expect from a Jack Chick tract, it isn’t that terrible. Aside from the bad science and the awful stereotyping, the tract doesn’t really deviate from the basic tenets of modern Christianity. If this had been the only tract being passed out in the library that day, I can see it being mostly harmless.
That being said, “mostly harmless” isn’t the same as “harmless,” and even though these tracts are worth a laugh, they were probably not passed out by someone who’s trolling.