On Becoming A Woman Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Secrets About Boys

The contents of this chapter are very similar to chapter 3 of OBAM, but not the same, so, let’s get started.

The differences between a teenage girl and a teenage boy are much more fundamental than appears externally.

Oh boy, here we go.

A girl thinks feminine thoughts, is domestic in her inclinations, and is fundamentally gentle in her relation to others.

What does that even mean? Thinks feminine thoughts? What sort of thoughts are feminine, and who decides this? Who decides what thoughts are feminine and which ones are masculine?

The author does not stop to think that not all girls are the same. As a child, I was confused when reading things like this, because I was not like this at all.

Even if this was true, is it nature or nurture? Are females naturally like this, or are we socialized to be so? Shryock never gets into this, and I don’t think he believes he needs to. Part of this was 1960s sexism, but I think a greater part of it is religious bullcrap that insists that men and women think differently, and shoves men and women into their tiny little boxes.


A teenage boy is masculine in his attitudes and somewhat rough and ready in his relations to the outside world.

What does this even mean? Masculine in his attitudes? Rough and ready in his relations to the outside world? I feel like Shryock just cobbled together a bunch of words, put them in a sentence, and waited to see if anyone would notice they don’t make sense.

These differences, when traced back to their fundamental cause, result from the fact that a young woman’s body is designed to enable her to become a wife and mother, whereas a young man’s body is designed so that he may become a husband and father.

God designed a woman to be a mother, so a woman is “domestically inclined” and a man is designed to be a father, so he is “rough and ready.”

I’m not sure what rough and ready has to do with being a father, but, um, ok?

Either way, this is faulty logic and bad science, and I am quite sure that by 1968 this was outdated. It sounds like Victorian logic to me.

The male reproductive organs have nothing to do with maintaining an unborn baby. Their functions are, rather, to produce the spermatozoa and to implant these in the vagina of the wife at the time parenthood is in prospect.

There, Shryock finally got around to explaining sex! The male shoves his “reproductive organs” in a woman’s vagina! Phew, I was worried this book wasn’t going to explain anything!

The male organs that produce the male germ cells are called testes.

So, the male is going to shove his testes into my vagina?

We get a few paragraphs about the testes, where they are located, and that they also have substance for the sperm to reside in.

The testes are placed loosely within the scrotum and are able to move about quite freely within this fleshy sac, and thereby they are protected from injury.

Wait, really? These “testes” things are just floating around the scrotum? The scrotum, btw, is outside the body, and definitely does not offer much in the way of protection from injury.

The testes are abundantly supplied with delicate nerve filaments, which produce a warning signal of intense pain whenever they are bumped or compressed.

Yet another reason an intelligent designer would have made it so that the sperm could survive at higher temperatures and put the gonads inside the body rather than outside.

Shryock goes on to describe the penis. It makes more sense for him to have included this description in OBAW than it does in OBAM. I assume men already know what their penises look like.

The penis is finger shaped and ordinarily hangs loosely just in front of the scrotum. Running the full length of the penis, within its substance, is the urethra, the tube which carries urine from the bladder to the outside.

So, that’s the penis. It’s basically a finger dangling between a man’s legs. Wonder if it works like one too.

Whereas female germ cells are produced at the rate of one a month, male germ cells are produced in tremendous numbers (billions) more or less continuously.

Wow, that sounds horribly wasteful and over productive. It must be tiring on a body to constantly be producing sperm. This does not make it seem like we were designed by a perfect creator. If we were designed by a perfect creator, men would have a cycle and women would have a cycle and when they got married something would cause their cycles to match up. How would this work exactly? I dunno, I’m not God. God is all powerful and can do anything, so, he can make the husband and wife’s cycles match up.

The urethra of the male, therefore, has 2 functions: to void urine from the bladder and to convey seminal fluid from the vesicles. Nature has provided a valve like mechanism that prevents the two functions from being carried on at the same time.

A waste dump is running through a recreational facility. Okay then.

At least a man isn’t capable of doing both at once. You have no idea how many times I used to wonder if it was possible to get peed on during sex.

Just as in the teenager girl the production of female germ cells and the function of menstruation begin at a much earlier age than it is appropriate for a girl to become a mother, so in the case of a teenage boy the production of male germ cells begins at an earlier age than is appropriate for a boy to become a father.

Yes, perfect design right there.

This period of a few years allows time enough for a young man to become adjusted to being grown up.

That’s your reasoning for this horrible bullshit of a design? So we’ll be more used to it by the time we’re grown up? No. No a good designer would have had all this begin no later than age 20 and we could spend our early 20s when we are wanting to reproduce. The teen years have enough adjustments without bringing in periods and nocturnal emissions.

Nature has made provision for the disposal of the seminal fluid that is produced before a young man becomes a husband.

It’s called “masturbation.” (No, that’s not what the book says.)

When the seminal vesicles become filled to capacity with seminal fluid they are automatically emptied in a process spoken of as seminal emission.

See guys, “nature” has provided a release for your semen overflow! And it doesn’t involve touching your naughty bits! Isn’t God GOOD?

Even though containing billions of male germ cells the amount of seminal fluid that escapes is not very great and leaves only a small soiled spot on the bedclothes.

This still doesn’t tell me exactly how much gets spilled. How small is “a small spot?” Whatever I’m done trying to understand Shycock’s vagueness.

We have just described the plan by which the seminal fluid is expelled prior to the time when a young man becomes a husband. We will next consider nature’s provision for the discharge of seminal fluid after marriage.

We’re gonna talk about sex, kids! Finally!

In erection the penis becomes enlarged and firm, and thus adapted to the function of introducing seminal fluid into the vagina of the wife.

There ya go kids, that is what mommies and daddies do to make babies. It only took me 4 chapters. You’re welcome.

The nervous mechanism by which erection is produced is a very delicate and sensitive mechanism. It occurs not only in response to the physical contact between husband and wife, but also whenever a man’s thoughts focus on things feminine.

What exactly is meant by “things feminine?” Housekeeping is supposedly (according to Shrycock) a feminine thing, does a man get an erection thinking of housework? Does he get an erection when he thinks about girl toys like dolls? Does his penis become enlarged when he thinks about sewing? Is that why a woman is the one who has to do all the housework, because otherwise a man would be walking around with a constant erection?

Partial erections occur very easily in young men. Even seeing a picture that displays the female figure may produce a mild erection.

This is why OBAM/OBAW has no pictures. It might lead men to getting erections.

Conversing about intimate physical matters has also the same effect.

Is that why you won’t come out and spell out the manner of which sex works?

the stimulus is particularly strong when a young man is sitting close to the girl he admires, especially when they are by themselves.

This is why we don’t let you sit next to your boyfriend in church boys and girls. You can’t sit too close to a young man, he might get a boner.

From these remarks you will see that the average young man is more sensitive in his physical response to the attraction of a girl than the average girl is in her physical response to a boy.

This actually varies person to person. I’ve known a lot of women who say they get physically aroused very easily. Guys are less likely to talk about it, but there are some women who say that their husbands are very hard to arouse. This whole “men are very very VERY physical and women are just not” is a load of horse shit.

Erection is fundamentally a pleasurable experience and if allowed free reign tends to be progressive…but for his respect for womanhood and his standards of morals, a young man’s powerful reflexes would cause him to seek liberties beyond what are right and proper for unmarried young people.

Translation: he might want to have sex with you.

You will understand how it is that a young woman carries a personal responsibility, in her associations with a young man, to avoid those intimate conversations, gestures, or habits of dress that would tend to arouse and augment his physical attraction to her.

Girls, you don’t want to give a man a pleasurable erection do you? Then stop acting and dressing like shameless hussies! You are going to cause a man to seek premarital sex!

You can now understand why it is not advisable for a young woman to sit on a young man’s lap or to permit other forms of physical intimacy.

According to some people at summer camp, this rule also applies to small children. Small children of the opposite gender shouldn’t be allowed to sit on my lap because ZOMG YOUR GENITALS ARE RIGHT UNDERNEATH HIS! It was kind of a disturbing attitude.

Kissing and familiar fondling of a young woman’s person can never be an innocent past time if a high moral and spiritual character is to be maintained as an ideal.

Saving your first kiss for marriage, not a new concept created by Joshua Harris. You heard it here first, kids.

A Christian girl will learn to resist such familiarities by young men in such a gracious way as not to create offense, but rather an increased respect.

Not only are you expected to refuse these offers, ladies, you must do so nicely. This won’t at all lead to men thinking they just need to be persistent and who won’t leave you alone. No, not at all.

You may ask why this responsibility rests more heavily upon the young woman than it does upon the young man.

Yes, yes I do ask that. And no answer you give me is going to suffice, because ultimately I am not the one responsible for a man’s actions. He is.

In terms of moral responsibility I am sure it is just as wrong for a young man to allow himself to take unwarranted liberties with a young woman as it is for her to permit these liberties.

Assuming a woman is actually permitting them, that is.

I further believe that a young man is not excusable in such matters merely because his own reflex mechanisms may be more sensitive than those of a young woman.

This is promising. Maybe you should stop here.

The fact, however, that a young woman’s physical reflex mechanisms are not so quickly aroused as those of a young man implies easier self control on her part, and therefore greater responsibility for maintaining proper standards in her relationships with the opposite sex.

I’m not saying a woman has more responsibility than a man does… but I’m saying that a woman has more responsibility than a man does.

Fuck you Shryock, and fuck everyone who agrees with this! No literally, go fuck yourselves, you’ll all feel better after a good wank.

the best way, therefore, to ensure control of these powerful mechanisms is to avoid the circumstances under which they become active.

Don’t even look at a man, ladies. He might get an erection, he’s so sensitive.

In establishing and upholding such a policy a young woman’s greater natural reserve places her in a position to exert the greater stabilizing influence.

If I wasn’t reading the kindle version of this, I would have thrown this book against the wall 3 times by now.

This chapter was very hard to get through, I had to keep going away and coming back. I also had an event going on this weekend, which I may or may not write about later. This means that all my blog posts are kind of backed up.

I will be unable to write Tomorrow or the day after. I’ll try to schedule some posts, but honestly it could take up to a week for me to catch up.

Thanks for your patience and understanding.



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