In Which I Review The Buttercream Gang Part 5

I need a distraction, so I’m pounding this out earlier than planned.  You know those really insane people who are incredibly scared of the absolute safest form of travel in the world(Flying)? Yeah, I’m one of those obnoxious people. At least, I think I was obnoxious last time. I don’t mean to be, but I needed a lot of reassurance, and I needed a lot of distraction, and I’m afraid I bothered people like flight attendants and seat mates, who probably really don’t want to deal with nervous passengers. I was actually told once that a flight attendant had told her (the flight attendant who was speaking to me) that it was my first flight. I went along with it because I was embarrassed to admit it was my 10th. This fear is so bad I haven’t even bought my plane ticket because every time I try, an iron fist grips my chest and I can’t breathe.

So, This is a distraction. This is probably going to be a longer post than usual… or shorter because I’ve had to drink more alcohol than usual and might pass out soon.

We last left Scott while he was working on his paper route. We are shown a house with a red headed girl in glasses on the porch. Her name, we will later find out, is Margaret.

Scott: sorry Margaret, didn’t see you there!

Margaret: You didn’t see me? What am I invisible?

She’s got a point. She was sitting right there on the porch steps, in plain view of the whole street. It’s not even like she was partially hidden behind a bush. Scott is being stupid here. He doesn’t answer, he just rides off.

Also, I feel the need to point out that this is a classic example of a nonpology. A Nonpology is when you pretend to apologize but really are just trying to make yourself look good. “I didn’t see you” is an excuse. Now, maybe it’s true that he COULDN’T see her, in which case I would expect him to stop his bike and say “I’m so sorry Margaret, there was a bush in my way and I couldn’t see. Are you ok?” Even if a newspaper wouldn’t really hurt her, this is polite. Since he has no such reason, he should instead say “Sorry Margaret, I’ll be more careful next time!”

I discovered that at work, the latter is more what they want to hear. “You’re right boss, I should be more careful when I throw the chips. In Fact, I know  i have bad aim, so I won’t throw the potato chips at all.”

Scott goes home, and his dad and he have a small conversation about how the widow Jenkins fell down. Pete’s dad doesn’t even tell him that next time, he should call in real professionals. Seriously. I expect the kids to be negligent, I expect the adults, especially the adults direction this movie to know better.

Scott’s family sits down to dinner and prays, which is the first real outright religious thing we’ve seen them do, besides the collar wearing coach. Apparently pete has a sister. Is his sister Regina? I can’t tell. First because I’m faceblind and second because this movie is bad at introducing characters.

Pete hasn’t written to any of the 3 boys at all. (Even before, he seems to have only written Scott, though that may be because we are seeing the movie through Scott’s eyes, so I’m willing to hand wave it a little bit.) They noticed Pete’s grandpa seemed uptight when they asked him when Pete would be back. Maybe The Butter Boys  aren’t as stupid as I thought. Well, 2 of them noticed, anwyay. The other had a snow cone on his mind. I’m actually with the snow cone boy.

It actually seems kinda like Scott was Pete’s only friend in the gang at all, which is kind of…. interesting? I mean, throughout the movie Scott is seen as being the main protagonist, the only one who tries to remain friends with Pete (whether or not he succeeds is something we’ll discuss later) no matter what. The other 2 don’t seem to give a damn. Which is ok, except…. it seems like Scott was Pete’s only friend ever. And that’s really sad.

You guys, I just read that only 1 American in 11 MILLION flyers dies in a plane crash. Wow! In cars that’s 1 in 5,000. Planes look pretty safe….. if only they just STAYED ON THE FUCKIN GROUND. (I’ve seriously got 2 airplane science people who work with airplanes for a living telling me how safe it is.)

Ahem. Distraction time…

Cut to Scott and his friends going to school. There’s a poster advertising the school dance, something about “Dance under The Stars.” No, the dance won’t be held outside and there won’t be a telescope, so, I don’t care.

For some inexplicable reason, they all decide to go to “Pete’s house,” even though they have no reason to think Pete would be there. Are they really all that close to Pete’s grandpa that they would just go to see him? I’ve been close enough to a friend’s mother to do that, and even her grandma and I struck up a relationship, but males in the family don’t tend to do that with their daughter’s friends. Maybe it’s different for boys? I know it’s probably just a way to get Scott to find Pete, so I won’t complain too much, but I still feel like there was a better way to do this narratively. I think we just have a case of lazy writers, here.

Then Scott bumps into Margaret, causing her to spill her papers and books all over the ground. “Sorry Margaret,” Scott says, “I didn’t see you there.”

Margaret: Why should today be any different?”

At least Scott helps her pick up the papers. Still a jerk, though. Why can’t he just say, “I’m sorry Margaret, It was clumsy of me and I’ll be more careful next time?” If he did, I wouldn’t think Margaret’s response here as awesome as it is. If Scott was genuinely sorry, I’d find her rather bitchy, which is probably how we are supposed to see her. Alas, Scott and the writer’s fail at this.

Hi, my name is Margaret. I’m like, totally invisible to Scott, and I also like, totally refuse to see this as a super power and use it to my advantage! Because I’m in a CHRISTIAN movie!

I love this girl. I really, really do. Come on Margaret, you can do better than Scott. Go for a boy who’s going to NOTICE you and care about who you are INSIDE, regardless of whether or not you look geeky. And she does look geeky. In a good way.

Scott helps pick up Margret’s papers.

Oh jeez, how did I not notice this on my first 5 watch throughs? The article specifically says Hispanic gangs are a problem. I…. I….. I have to go away and think about this for a few minutes.

They….had to…. include…. that….the gangs….. Hispanic….. If you took out JUST the word “Hispanic,” the headline wouldn’t have changed at all in relation to the plot…oh…. my….

AOWE;IFHEWO;IHFOWEIHTFOEWI;HTOEIWHRTOIWEHTOEWTOIUEWO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK!

Hispanic gangs are the problem. We don’t care about those other gangs. We don’t care about white people, black people, or hot pink people with bright yellow polka dots, no, we only care that HISPANIC gangs are becoming a problem.

O;AWIFGHEWO;HOWEIUHTFOWEIHTFOEIWHFGOWIEHFOWEIHFOIWEHFOIWEHFOIUWEHTOFIHTWEO;GIAFHWE’OIGHEWOIHTOIUAHF;WEEWHBEGIUWRAG;OIWEHAOGEFIIU4AITU

And people claimed this movie wasn’t racist just because it had an all white cast. Sorry, this movie is fuckin racist. Excuse me, I have to get some more alcohol before I can continue.

oaw;iefhioaufieuwteuwtouiwehtfegwfeiruwohgeruwiuhtowhaetau’AOWIHERTO;EIUWHTUWYOITWEOUTHFGWERGIURHEGOEIW;

Ok. Well, the good news is, being all angry rage helped me get up the guts to buy those damn plane tickets. So I am going. And I’ll blog about my experience 😀 Severe flight anxiety be damned, I am going to TRAVEL. And call the doctor to figure out why the pharmacy hasn’t gotten my goddamned valium perscription. rrrrrrrrrrr

Booze break! Still not drunk enough to write this movie review but I am glad I was semi sober when booking those plane tickets or I’d have screwed myself.

Ok, am nicely drunk again. Will continue. Where was I? Oh yes.

In case you think Pete couldn’t possibly be pictured in the articles, we later learn that his mother’s maiden name is Valdez, which is probably supposed to sound Hispanic. So, Pete is Hispanic y’all, ok?

 Margaret’s been doing a report on gangs in big cities.  This would’ve actually been a really good time for the writer’s to insert that Pete is involved in a gang. Margaret’s papers include pictures. one of the pictures could be of Pete’s gang. I mean, seriously, they all just got arrested. It is not unlikely at all that they’d be in the newspaper, so why doesn’t Scott run, the screen writers are lazy, and this is only supposed to be clunky foreshadowing.

Margaret is doing this for extra credit.

Elton(?): why are you doing this Margaret you’ve already got an A. Why do you keep torturing us?

Margaret: It’s because they’re a real gang, not like you guys.

Buuuuuuuurrrrrrn.

Buttercreamboy: I hope Pete doesn’t run into ’em

foreshadow CLUNK

Seriously, why have we not gone back to Pete? He is SO much more interesting than these dweebs. I want to know more about his story, actually. A bunch of boys running around helping widows is great, but it doesn’t make for an interesting story.

I feel like there are a LOT of long stretches in this movie where nothing happens, and it is fuckin BORING.

 

The boys bike to Pete’s house after school. Is it just me, or is it snowing in this picture?

I just keep seeing white flakes in this scene…

A cow moos loudly as they ride up to pete’s house. I didn’t think they were THAT far out in the country.

 

Anyway, instead of Pete’s grandpa, inside they find….

Pete! We weren’t expecting you home so early! Gosh you sure look different Pete.

The boys discover that Pete is back, and they are happy. Seriously, did they just come there to talk to his grandfather?

That seems…. odd. In any case.

The Buttercream gang notices that Pete looks “different.” Meaning, in this case, that he wears a bandanna. Seriously, in the above picture, that is all I can find about him that’s different. And he’s still a DORK.

The boys say they were there looking for Pete’s grandpa,  and that he looked upset when they asked about Pete, and how come Pete didn’t write?

Pete dodges these questions, asking if the gang is hungry. He offers to buy them “treats” from… I think he says the store’s name is Graff’s? I can’t tell very well. Anyway, again, Beggin’ Strips(tm) come to mind, because seriously, what 13 year old, what person, for that matter, refers to this stuff as “treats?”

 

This is the second time firefox has shut down on me unexpedtedly, and wordpress, shitty site that it is, used to be easy to save drafts on, but now is not. Part 6 will be up in 6 seconds. I just want to post this all before it’s lost.

 

 

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