There will be a post tomorrow

I’m going to post toads post tomorrow, on account of I feel like shit today. I started on it last night, but then photobucket kept malfunctioning.

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The Buttercream Gang PArt 10.2

So, I found a power cord, yay! I just wanted to finish up a little section, but I hate going back and editing posts that have already been published.

In any case, we last left off on Margaret telling Scott that dancing is easy, and there isn’t anything to know.

Sigh. There is a LOT to know. I can do two forms of dancing: Bastardized Ballet (I taught myself from a book, so it’s not proper ballet), and the awkward prom. Oh, and I can also the sprinkler. One guess as to which one Scott and Margaret will be doing all night!

I’m actually jealous that the Christians in this movie get to dance. I certainly was not allowed that “nonsense.” I thought Mormons agreed with Seventh Day Adventism about the dancing thing. Maybe this particular Mormon company isn’t very conservative. In fact, strike that; the women are wearing pants, the company therefore isn’t that conservative.

And, here we are at the prom:

Most of the ladies, who, btw, look older than junior high, are doing this:

Their feet are tapping. Are these supposed to be chaperones, or students? I legitimately can’t tell.

 

Everyone is doing the awkward prom dance. This is booooooring. The Australian sounding DJ announces they’re going to play a slow song. Boooorig. Are we going to have a plot soon?

Scott says he doesn’t know how to dance. Margaret argues there’s nothing to know. I agree with Scott.

I can’t believe I’m agreeing with Scott.

Pete and his friends are watching….. maybe things are about to get interesting…. wait, what are they doing?

Come on guys, I’ve got a plan!

The DJ announces a slow dance…. I don’t care. Scott and Margaret slow dance…. I’m more interested in what Pete and his friends are up to.

This is Scott and Margaret’s reaction to the news that this willl be a slow dance. No, I don’t know what Lanny and Elton are saying in the background.

I’m having to watch this on silent, so I can’t grab what she’s saying. It’s probably a lot more interesting if we just guess.

I actually can’t blame myself to be too hard on Scott for this. He’s… what, 13? 14? Most boys I know of at that age are AWKWARD, and don’t tend to get excited about anything terribly romantic. I do think it means Margaret needs to put off trying to develop a relationship with Scott until he’s ready, but, she wants to have fun at the dance with her date, and I can totally understand that, too.

It really is a pity girls develop these feelings a good 2-4 years earlier than boys, isn’t it? You’d think that if there was a god, he would’ve fixed this?

Anyway, Margaret pulls a reluctant Scott onto the dance floor. Lanny and Elton also get pulled aside by 2 other girls. I might or might not post the screenshots, because they never come up again.

We are shown Scott and Margaret slow dancing:

There’s a lot of slow dancing, a lot of couples shown…. yawn.

Are they lighting a candle? Tune in next time to find out what happens to Scott and Margaret as they have a lovey dovey pukey teenage prom dance!

If it involves Pete, it WILL be interesting.

 

The Buttercream Gang, Part 10

I was going to post this on Wednesday (why did they make that so hard to spell? jeez), but then I got called in to work a double on Wed, and I already work a double on Thursday, so I figured I’d just put this up a day early. I know wordpress is supposed to have a feature where you can schedule a post to be published a day or 2 later, but the last few times I’ve tried to use it it hasn’t worked. It’s probably not wordpress this time, it’s probably just that I’m bad at technology.

We last left our intrepid hero Scotty boy having a confrontation with Pete. In front of all of Pete’s friends. I know I touched on it last time that this was a bad idea, so I’m only going to mention it briefly here, and state that I believe that if this confrontation had happened privately, Pete might not have responded so defensively.

Oh who am I kidding? It’s a sappy cheesy Christian movie, of course it would’ve gone the same way in private. Because on Planet Buttercream, everything is black and white.

 

Pete: Hey, I’ll make it unanimous, there, I’m out, Ok?

I get it; he doesn’t want to look dorky in front of his new friends. I bet if Scott had caught him privately Pete would’ve bee a bit more embarrassed. He still might have made the same decision, but at least he wouldn’t have been doing it under pressure of his other friends. Which….could make all the difference. Right now, I doubt that Pete is thinking clearly. If Scott had gotten Pete alone, Pete might’ve been able to think more of his love for Scott, and at least I would’ve thought he made a clearer decision.

Scott: don’t you want to talk about it?

Pete: Smarten up!

I agree with Pete. He might want to talk abut it if you’d confronted him alone you fuckin’ prick!

Pete: look around here this is my gang here I don’t want anything to do with your stupid club!

I agree, actually…. He doesn’t want to look like a dweeb in front of his friends. God Scott, you’re worse than my parents. Even my parents would’ve confronted me in private because they were more than willing to have me blame them so I wouldn’t lose face.

Pete: we can have anything we want by taking it, so you and you friends better just stay out of my way, ok?

Scott: I thought you were going to change?

Pete: that line worked on my aunt and would’ve kept working on you except for little miss nosy but we’ll take care of her

 

If Scott had done this in private, Pete might take the time to explain that, see, he wants to change, but at the same time, he doesn’t. Or that he doesn’t feel he can. Actually, now that I think about it, he does tell Scott that latter later, but Scott will just shoot him down and keep arguing with him.

Pete’s gang members nod in agreement about getting back at Margaret. 

Why would Pete even bother lying to Scott about wanting to change if he didn’t on some level still love him? Sorry, but this doesn’t ring true. I don’t believe for a minute Pete lied to Scott about wanting to change. get the feeling Pete wouldn’t be saying that if he didn’t want to lose face in front of his “cool” friends.

I know I am beginning to sound like a broken record, but confrontations with friends need to be done in private, ok?

Pete and his friends leave, and we’re clearly supposed to sympathize with Scott but…  I don’t. Scott has been a jerk. I don’t blame Pete for acting the way he is. I blame Scott for not dealing with this more tactfully. He’s seriously an ass.

In the next scene, Scott comes by to ask for Margaret. Margaret’s mother says, “I thought it was great when Margaret came by and told me you’d ask ed her to the dance.”

Poor Margaret. She can’t even tell her mother she invited HIM to the dance. Ya’all, and Margaret has to hide it. Stupid sexist society. Guy asking a girl to dance. Because a girl asking a guy to the dance is BAD ya’all, and Margaret has to hide it. Girl asking a guy to dance-=socially unacceptable.

‘aoWEIht;w4ehtowu3ow3;hrwoe;hroeuho;f

That was where I pounded the keyboard in frustration. Yanno, who decided these rules anyway?

And then Margaret comes out and she’s knock down gorgeous

Hi Scott! Aren’t you glad you invited me now?

This is a common trope: geeky girl looks hot with some effort. I should hate it due to how common it is, and it’s problematic because not everybody who isn’t knock down pretty at first glance isn’t going to be able to fix that with makeup and a curling iron.

Also, who decides who is and isn’t beautiful? Why should Margaret have to change anything about herself in order for Scott to consider her pretty?

Aside from all this, I do love that Margaret is gorgeous, but only when she wants to be, because GEEKY GIRLS RULE.

I just still find it problematic.

Anyway, Scott looks like I just punched him in the face:

Oh my God… I think… I just hit puberty! I suddenly have an interest in GIRLS!

Margaret’s mother gushes, as do all mothers at times like this, and makes Scott and Margaret pose for pictures. Scott awkwardly hands Margaret a gift. I’m gonna take a small break from ragging on Scott here and say that this is a nice gesture.  I even forgive him for being awkward about it, because he’s a (young) teenager. In fact, I think that was one thing the writers and actors both got right. Because I can totally see this awkward awkwardness happening in real life.

 

I don’t remember what it is, and for reasons it would take too long to explain, I can’t play the movie right now to look it up. I think it’s a corsage, though. Still a nice gesture for him, and it’s clear from Margaret’s reaction that she wasn’t really expecting it. So, Scott is at least behaving decently. For the next 2 minutes, anyway.

Scott and Margaret start walking.

Margaret: thanks for saving me today

Scott: yeah I was hoping could count that as the favor….

Jee, who knew basic human decency had to be considered doing someone a favor? I mean, is that why it took Scott so long to react to the bullying? because he had to literally sit there and think about whether or not he wanted to help Margaret, then decided yes because he owed her a favor?

God I hope not.

Why are they walking to the dance through a field of really tall grasses? Shouldn’t here be like, a path or something?

Margaret: look if you don’t want to go to the dance with me that’s fine, don’t want you to feel obligated –crosses arms–

Um, yes Margaret, you clearly do, otherwise you wouldn’t have called in that favor. This is called a manipulation tactic; telling the person they don’t REALLY have to do what you’re trying to manipulate them to do, BUUUUUUT…..

I’ve done it before, I admit it. Not in a situation remotely similar to this (our school never had dances, dancing was Evil. And I wasn’t interested in finding a guy to take me anywhere, anyway. Actually, on that tangent, I’m actually kind of surprised to see a school dance in this otherwise conservatively Christian movie. This movie was made my a Mormon company… maybe Mormons are ok with dancing?)

Scott: let me finish!

No! shut up Scott! Shut the fuck up and don’t say it–

Scott:I wanna go to the dance with you….well, I’ve never seen you look so pretty before

 

You…. totally just ruined the moment.

Wait, so, NOW you want to take her to the dance, now that you know she’s pretty? Please. In real life, this would’ve gotten the guy slapped. Or yelled at. Oh, you care more about the outward appearance than the personality I have? SLAP you never cared about me as a person, but now that you see I’m PRETTY you want me? SLAP.I shouldn’t have to change myself for you SLAP.

Most women I know of would slap this guy HARD because he only deigned to notice her when she proved she was pretty.

Or at least, I’d want to slap him. And I know many others who would as well. YMMV* on this one I suppose.

Unfortunately, Margaret reveals she has a stupid and insecure side, and I like her a helluva lot less.

Margaret: You really think I look pretty?

WELL NO DIP DIPSTICK. Seriously, did you see the way he was looking at you? He probably had his first —

Seriously Margaret, Scott is a douche. You should dump him STAT.

Scott: offh and, yeah sure

Margaret: you’re not embarrassed to go to the dance with me?

Scott: well maybe a little

DUMP HIM DUMP HIM DUMP HIM HE IS NOT WORTH IT IF HE CAN’T SEE THE AWESOME PERSON YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE.

Seriously, if he cares that much about what people think that he is embarrassed to be seen with her, at least a little bit… that’s not the basis of a healthy relationship. Just because I’m an aromantic asexual doesn’t mean I don’t know what an unhealthy relationship looks like. I’m not really sure I’ve ever observed a very healthy one, but I at least know what looks unhealthy and this…. doesn’t strike me as terribly promising.

I have to give Scott half credit for at least being honest with her, but… I still think Margaret should dump his ass on the dance floor and go off with some other gentleman who likes her for her intellect, and even if she looked geeky, would never be embarrassed to dance with her.

If the school wasn’t so small, I’d insist that these men have to exist.

Why do women often go out with douches? I have NO IDEA.

Scott: I don’t know how to dance

Margaret: what’s to know? hurry up, we’ll be late.

 

My computer is going to put itself to sleep soon, because some idiot brought the wrong charger chord because some idiot company made the cords look alike even though they’re not interchangeable. We’ll pick up the narrative next week. I MIGHT have time to make another short post to deal with the dance later tonight, but probably not, and I wanted to get something up today or it won’t be up till Friday, and since I wanted to do another movie Saturday, that won’t work.

 

Enjoy the early post, folks. Or don’t, y our life, your choice.

*For the uninitiated, YMMV means your mileage may vary.

 

 

 

In Which I Watch Veggie Tales, Queen Esther

Content note: Discussion of rape and possible rape, childhood sexual grooming, and unwanted sexual contact. May trigger. I also discuss anti-semitism. I will one day learn to spell “anti-semitism.”

When I was 6, I moved away from the only home I’d ever known. When the church found out I was moving, they gave me two gifts, one of which I don’t remember and was probably a toy that eventually got broken and discarded, but the other was a cassette tape (yes, this was the ’90s) entitled, Veggie Tunes. My mother had never heard of Veggie Tales before, and so was completely shocked when the lyrics to the first song went like this:

Actually that’s the 2000 version, which might be a little different, but I digress:

If you like to talk to tomatoes

if a squash can make you smile

if you like to waltz with potatoes

up and down the produce aisle

Have we got a show for you!

Yes, the highlight of Christian entertainment in the 1990s was…. talking carrots.

BTW, I still have that tape. Midland SDA church you are not forgotten.

Actually, Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber are both fruits, rather than vegetables. Yes, cucumbers are a fruit. Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber are, or were, the main protagonists of veggie tales for a long time.

Netflix only has a few episodes, unfortunately, and none of them are from the 1990s. It’s possible the library will have some, we’ll see. In case anyone cares, I think the older ones were better. Some of the newer ones are just….dumb. Anyway, the scene opens with a narrator babbling about Greatness. The theme song is sadly not present.

Anyway, we are introduced to Haman. Haman knocks on the Queen’s door, informing her that the king would like her to make him a sandwich.

Sigh. I understand why they did this, but…. seriously, in the biblical version, the king wanted queen Whatshername to dance naked in front of him and his men. Which has rapey undertones, so yeah, I can see why they changed it, but you just know some asshole out there is going to think that the old queen rather deserved it for not wanting to make her hubby a sandwich, despite the fact that:

Queen: It’s 3 in the morning.

Haman: Well, he’s the king, and what he says goes

Queen: Well, I’m the queen, and the king can make his own sandwich (slams door in Haman’s face)

After all, it’s not like in the bible, where he asked her to break an actual commandment.

Before we start cheering her on too proudly, remember what’s going to happen to her.

Fortunately, this episode glosses over that fact as well, and instead of having her killed, the Queen (the bible says her name is Vashti, no I don’t know how to pronounce that)  merely gets kicked out on her hiney. What a nice king, I’m sure he’ll make Esther a great husband.

Again, the movie alters things. The king asks his minion, “don’t you think that might have been a little harsh?”

Minion: Oh no way! If she got away with that, no one would listen to you!

King: Hmm. what are we gonna do now?

Minion: It looks like we’re gonna have to find you a new queen

King: hmmm. Make me a sandwich!

Me: eyeroll

So, basically, the king is Haman’s puppet. It’s been a while since I read the book of Esther in the actual Bible, but I don’t remember that being the case. I think this is being done in the movie in order to make the King look a bit more sympathetic; he didn’t want to throw the old Queen out on her ass, he was just manipulated into doing so.

I, however, do not see this as much better. Esther will still have to put up with a horrible husband, only instead of being an outright cruel tyrant, said horrible husband will be a horrible puppet. And that’s almost worse, because you never know who’s controlling the strings. Today it was Haman, tomorrow it’s…. ?

Exactly.

Side note: Historians (and different bible versions) are divided as to whether or not the king was named Xerxes or Ahasuereous. The movie seems to be going with Xerxes, and so will I, because Xerxes is easier to spell. (Plus, when I was a kid, I used to call him “King Jerk-sees” instead of Xerxes, because even then I knew he was an asshole.)

Narrator: This is the story of a great person. It’s hard to say whether or not our hero was born that way, or was just placed in the right place at the right time, and decided to do the right thing.

Um…. don’t Christians believe that everybody is placed at the right place at the right time to do the right thing? At least, that is the way I grew up. I was also taught that Esther was born exactly for this purpose, because we all have a purpose given to us by God. Also, we were taught that Esther was raised with good moral values, and that that is what made her a great person. Great people aren’t born that way, they’re nurtured into it.

Isn’t there a Jewish holiday based on this story? If there are any Jewish folks reading, I’d love to know your take on the subject.

Anyway, someone calls, “hey Essie!”

Essie? OH GOOD LORD! If Esther is constantly referred to as “Essie,” I might actually need alcohol to watch this. That sounds like something I would name a COW, not a person. And anyway, depending on who was talking to her, wouldn’t they refer to her Hebrew name, Hadassah? Then again, I shudder to think of what cutesy little nickname the writers would make with THAT.

Pea: So, you saw your friend steal an apple

Esther: Yeah

Pea: And now you don’t know what you should do?

Esther: Yeah

Pea: What do you think you should do?

what vegetable is she even supposed to be? She just looks like a little green alien with no hands.

Me: I think I should talk to my friend and convince her to go pay for it. If that absolutely won’t work, I will do nothing, because it’s none of my business. I mean, it’s just a fuckin’ apple, maybe she’s hungry. 

Esther figures this out on her own. The pea says it sounds like a good idea and bounces away. Esther then refers to him as “cousin Mordecai.”  Hang on, wasn’t Mordecai her uncle? And didn’t he actually raise her after her parents died? *looks up in bible* Ok, so Esther is actually his uncle’s daughter. So I guess cousin is the right word. The movie says they have known each other for forever. The bible says that when Esther’s parents died, Mordecai took her and raised her as his daughter. So I have no idea why the movie is saying “they’ve known each other forever” instead of “I raised you since you were an 8 year old.”

Esther is afraid to go to her friend about this, which doesn’t make it seem like they are very good friends. I always felt free to go to my friends about anything. One time my friend stole me books from a used bookstore… actually, nevermind, let’s not tell that story.

He continues to call her Essie. I continue to cringe.

Mordecai: There are bigger problems out there than stolen apples –like that one!

He says this as a vehicle roars up.

Turns out it is Haman, who apparently really hates Mordecai. Mordecai runs away… hang on, that’s not how the bible story went…

Haman addresses the crowd 

He tells all the eligible young ladies to please come with him, then opens up the back of his truck.

Esther tries to run away, but Haman insists that all this is optional. That’s not how the bible story went either. In the story, Esther goes willingly. Actually, on re reading, my bible has a footnote that suggests that this not be the case, so I guess we have no idea if it was voluntary or not.

I don’t like that they changed it to be this way, and we’ll get to why a little bit later.

Anyway, Mordecai comes out of hiding, and there’s an argument with him and Haman that’s probably supposed to be funny but just seems stupid. For the sake of time and space I won’t get into it.

Haman demands Mordecai bow to him. Mordecai refuses, saying, “I bow only to my God and to my King.”

Yup, this is how the bible story went. There’s no running away and hiding nonsense from Mordecai, but rather, he sticks around and calmly explains his beliefs and his refusal to bow. The biblical Mordecai was brave, not a coward.

On a random note, what vegetable (or fruit) is Esther supposed to be exactly? Mordecai is a pea, the King looks like the giant pickle (said pickle pops up in numerous episodes, often as the villain),  she’s not an asparagus because Junior is an asparagus and she looks nothing like him…none of the other usual characters have popped up, soooo Esther is…. celery? A leak? They should’ve made her a broccoli.

It’s now the night, and Mordecai has snuck into the palace and is talking to Esther

Mordecai tells Esther that she mustn’t let anyone know that she is part of Mordecai’s family. In the bible this is specifically stated as “do not let on that you are a Jew, for Haman hates Jews.” So, Haman is basically the fore runner of Hitler. Or maybe Hitler is a reincarnation of Haman?

In any case, Esther whines about not wanting to be here. This does the real Esther a disservice. The real Esther, I’m sure, was not this whiny.

Mordecai babbles about us not knowing the future, but God does.

And, for those of us who are familiar with Veggietales who are wondering where all the songs are, it’s time for Esther to sing a song. It’s a short one about how she doesn’t know what to do. It literally lasted all of the less than 60 seconds it took for me to write this paragraph.

We then open up to a scene where a woman (I can’t tell what vegetable she is either) is singing about… puppies and how great they are. My kind of song, actually, I love puppies. Though I disagree that they are never nasty or mean, because I have met some nasty and mean puppies. 

Archibald the leak comes on and says that was contestant number 37. So apparently this is some kind of talent show. Her singing was supposed to be as awful as it came across, I literally took out my headphones for a few seconds till the subtitles told me it was over.

Up next is, Miss Babylon, all the way from Babylon! Wait, was Esther really from Babylon? Mayhap I will have to dig out my bible and do some fact checking.

Esther sings a song about God protecting us with his love. Which is probably why the movie had Mordecai not telling Esther to hide her religion, because then they couldn’t have her sing this song. Because singing this song would totally blow her  cover.

The King and Haman really love Esther, and just like that, she becomes the new Queen.

Now, we are going to talk history for a moment. It was never stated outright in Bible class, but when we watched an Esther movie, the teacher had  to turn it off at one point. You see, in the bible, the king conducted…. “Interviews” with these women. And in bible class it wasn’t stated outright, but heavily implied, that these “Interviews” consisted of…. well, not songs, if ya’all catch my drift.

And that is why I hate that Esther is forced to be here, because in reality, this interview would possibly have consisted of sexual intercourse. Since Esther didn’t consent to be there… and that’s disturbing. Just from reading the biblical account, I didn’t get the impression that attendance was mandatory. And that makes it a lot less…. disturbing.

So anyway, in Veggie Land, all Esther had to do was sing a song, a song about God, in front of people who don’t hate Jews, but only a specific Jew, Mordecai.

Which makes me wonder how they’re going to handle Haman later wanting to slaughter all the Jews, but nevermind.

Another tangent; back in the 1990s, I don’t remember any of the veggies having actual hair. I guess they brought in new designers at some point, because vegetables now are skinnier and they have hair. The animation also looks a little different but I’m going to chalk that one up to the switch from hand drawn cartoons to digital.

Esther looks very dismayed that she is now to be married to the king. Fortunately in Veggie land, that does not also mean she will be expected to have sex with him, which is the main reason, among other things, that I disapprove of forced marriages in real life.

Mordecai pays Esther a visit, and totally brushes aside her concerns about “Nobody ever even asked me to be queen.” by saying, “You always had a mind of your own. I liked that about you.” Chuckles and runs off.

Women are so funny when they have minds of their own, amiright boys?

Esther: Mordecai, wait! What’s the king like?

Mordecai: He’s real sharp, you’re gonna love him!

Really? Because so far all we’ve seen is a very stupid individual who lets other people push him around and chooses a wife based on how well she can sing. Even as a child I’d have been like, ?

Well *I* wouldn’t.

Jee Xerxes, you’d think you would have figured that out before you married her? You know, taken her for a walk around the palace garden, talked with her, gotten to know her a bit… before you married her? Yanno, maybe instead of forcing her, you should romance her. People seem to like that for some reason.

Haman: Of course she’ll like you! You’re the king! Everybody likes you, under penalty of death!

Hmm. I don’t remember it ever being a requirement to like the king, just to obey him. Huh.

Larry the Cucumber is a scribe next to Xerxes, writing down…. I don’t know.

Xerxes: But what if I weren’t the king? What if I were some guy who cleans up after camels?

They had those back in biblical times? Or is this just the writers embellishing a little? Inquiring minds want to know!

Oh shit! I missed it! Hold on let me back up…

This is biblical. Well, not the piano, but Some of the servants were plotting to take the king’s life. Here in Veggietales, this is in the form of being shown some little peas about to drop a large piano on the king’s head. Seriously, how did they get it up there in the first place without someone noticing that, oh hey, THERE’S A REALLY LARGE PIANO OVER THE KING’S THRONE?

Anyway, as this is happening, Haman is saying, “anyone would be happy to make you a sandwich.” Clearly these servant guys are planning to do just that; a king Xerxes the Pickle sandwich.

Just then, the pea guy enters, and introduces himself as “Bigfan, your royal chef.”

King Xerxes: I don’t recall asking for you

Bigfan: Every newly wed couple needs a cake, no?

Now see, if I was going to kill the king, I think it would just be easier to poison the cake.

The king is delighted with the cake, and asks to be brought a piece. The servant stammers an excuse for the king to come to him.

No, seriously, it’d be easier to just poison the cake.

Haman: Didn’t you warn him about what can happen to someone who appears before the king uninvited?

Esther: Stop, it’s a trap!

Siiiiiiiiigh. In the biblical account, it was MORDECAI who uncovered the plot and saved the king’s life. Here it is Esther. I guess this is done to try and establish a relationship between Esther and Xerxes?

As she yells this, the piano falls on the cake and the king dives for cover.

Xerxes: Why is there a piano on my cake?

Our King, folks. As Mordecai says, he’s very, very sharp….

Larry the Cucumber is scribbling down furiously, stopping to wipe his brow.

As to how the vegetables do things without hands, um, well, things just kind of levitate, ok?

The peas try to escape, but Mordecai blocks their path.

King Xerxes (To Esther): You saved my life!

Esther: Actually your highness, it was Mordecai

And the punishment for the two who tried to kill the king? Banishment to the island of perpetual tickling!

I know this is supposed to be watered down for kids but seriously? In the 1990s, we watched the evil guys get thrown into the lions’ den. We didn’t watch them get eaten, but we knew that’s what happened to them. Why couldn’t the criminals just get escorted to the gallows? Or heck, thrown into the dungeons?

Actually, I’m going to say this: when I was a child, I mean, ever since I was a child, I have HATED being tickled. It didn’t make me smile, it made me scream and kick things. There might have been a brief time before the age of 7 when this wasn’t so, but it’s been like this ever since I was 7 or 8. So, watching someone being punished to an island where they would be tickled forever would, honestly, be more horrifying to me than knowing they were being executed. And I can’t be the only child who feels this way, especially because a lot of sexual abusers use tickling to groom their victims.

Besides, in bible class, this was not sugar coated. We knew those servants who plotted to kill Xerxes were executed. Now, I’m not saying that children need to know exact details of how execution would happen (even though we did, in school) but I’m saying that, even in movies such as this, the truth shouldn’t be sugar coated. Or at the very least they should be shown to be thrown into prison. And this would make sense, since kids then don’t have to know the servants would be executed. In fact, not all states have the death penalty. My state in particular being one of them. So not all children would associate attempted murder with the death penalty.

Actually, even as an adult, this tickle island thing is…. honestly, it’s going to give me nightmares. Seriously. I mean, I can’t even watch this scene. Be right back, need more booze.

Back, ok, I just watched this scene with the sound turned off, and it helped a little. The subtitles tell me what’s going on, anyway. apparently there are two things you don’t do in Persia:

1. Try to drop a piano on the king’s head

(What, trying to kill him any other way is just fine?)

2. Appear before him uninvited.

#2 is setting the stage for what happens later.

In this story, Haman comes up with plan because of Mordecai. It’s been a while since I’ve read the biblical account, but again, this one might also be true.

To do this, Haman sings a little song.

By the way, this song is so much worse than the Veggietales songs of the past. Let me see if I can find a clip on youtube. Ah, here we go:

I hope that worked. I’m not 100% positive on how to imbed videos. If It is somehow wrong, I apologize, and here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKdWWHL6BnI

Haman talks about “this family who can’t be trusted” who  “sneak their sneaky little noses” into the king’s matters. Is this a reference to the stereotype of Jews having big noses?

He wants to send this family to the island of tickling. Can I just say I HATE this idea? It would have scared me more as a child than a bloody violent death, which, I might add, is not the only alternative to an island of tickling.

The king signs a new law against…. one family apparently? It honestly makes more sense for him to sign a law against Jews in general than just one family.

Next scene, Mordecai sees a wanted poster of himself:

Mordecai snatches the poster and runs to see “Essie.”  I cringe once again.

Esther: What are you gonna do?

Mordecai: Me? Nothing! I’m just a guard. But you, you’re the queen!

Esther asks Mordecai if he knows what happens to people who appear before the king uninvited. Mordecai looks like this:

 

Esther: I wasn’t even brave enough to go to my friend about the apple! And even if he doesn’t banish me

 

I wish to point out that the penalty was death, not banishment. Seriously, children are capable of handling knowing that without nightmares. Ask me how I know that. Seriously, every Christian child –and that is the target audience of this movie– knows the story of Esther, and that she didn’t face banishment, but loss of life. So long as no grisly details are involved, children are capable of a lot more than this movie is giving them credit for. Especially because, spoiler alert, Esther gets to live.

Esther: (Continuing) Why would he listen to me? Haman is his right hand man.

Mordecai: You wanted to know why you were here, why you became queen. Perhaps you were put in this position for just such a time as this.

Mordecai: Esther, you never have to be afraid to do what’s right

Er, yes, Mordecai, you do.

Mordecai offers to pray for her, and that in fact, everyone will pray for her. No, he doesn’t specify who “everyone” is but it’s probably not hard to guess.

After he leaves, Esther sings a little song. It’s a very short one, basically a prayer to God that she doesn’t understand, and that she wants God to show her what she ought to do. Esther is shown praying all night, then in the morning putting on her crown and singing the song she sang earlier in her interview for the king, “the battle is not ours, but God’s.”

Narrator: one of them wise guys said that Great People(tm), when the moment comes, don’t have to think or say about what they will do, they just speak up and say or do what’s right.

Ha! I now half way want to find one of these great people ask if that is true. Chances are the answer is no, that they had to think about it very much so as to do it in such a way that would not get them killed. They also probably weighed cost vs affect. Ultimately they probably decided doing the right thing was the best, but I don’t believe for one minute they didn’t at least take a few moments to weigh the risk.

Esther knew to do what was right, so she figured she didn’t have to be nervous.

Sigh. Even the biblical account gives us a tad more insight than that. The bible doesn’t outright say, “Esther was scared,” but it does say that she and her maid servants fasted and prayed for at least 3 days before she did anything. That to me suggests…. maybe not fear, exactly, but caution and, yes, nervousness. Of course Esther was nervous. Wouldn’t you be if you were literally risking your life? Even if God was on your side and you knew it, that would still be scary as fuck. Esther was one brave woman, and this movie is just… downplaying that.

For you see, courage is not the absence of fear. Bravery, rather, is doing what you must in spite of that fear. And that is what Esther did. Acting like the fear was just not present is…. is seriously downplaying that bravery and courage.

In any case, Esther goes before the King.

No, I don’t know what’s up with the boat the subtitles are talking about. Nor do I care.

Haman: Who invited the queen? Did you invite the queen?

Xerxes: No, I don’t think I did….. but that’s ok

He smiles wide. In the bible, he invited her to touch his scepter. I’m not sure that will happen here.

Larry the Cucumber: Phew (scribbles on a scroll)

Xerxes: Come on over here queenie poo

Me: (shudders at cutesy nickname) I guess it’s not like Esther can protest it, seeing as how the king just decided to spare her life.

We are now over halfway through the movie, so I’m guessing it’s going to skip Esther’s whole multiple banquet rigamarole the bible describes. I predict we’ll go through one banquet, if that.

Clearly, the king at least likes Esther very much. We’re probably supposed to get that he loves her, but…. ehhh he’s still a dull puppet.

King Xerxes: I don’t know if anybody told you, but showing up uninvited around here is usually discouraged

Haman: punished by death or banishment

Xerxes: (smiling) so whatever you want, Esther honey, it’s yours.

Esther: I want you to stop calling me “queenie poo.”

JUST KIDDING!

Esther kind of loses her nerve. It’s clear in this movie she wanted to ask the king for the real thing (letting her family live) but instead she invites the king over for dinner at 8. Haman is also invited.

The narrator pops in and tells us that Esther is looking for just the right moment to tell the king “his right hand man is a weasel.”

We actually went over this in bible class, why Esther didn’t tell the king right away, and instead invited him to multiple banquets. I think the general consensus was something like… Esther wanted to create a mystery. Humans, when faced with a mystery, have a desire to solve it. If Esther had told the king right away what was going on, he might or might not have cared. By creating a mystery, Esther created, in essence, a problem for the king to solve. To think about constantly, so that when he finally figured out what was going on, he would care about it more than if Esther had just brought it up right away.

A clever woman, our Biblical Esther/Hadassah.

At the dinner, Haman and Xerxes are playing trivia games. I’m not familiar with the answers to the questions, so we won’t be going over them. They’re not relevant to the plot, anyway.

Esther: Your highness, the real reason I asked you to come tonight was to….uh… ask you to come to dinner another night

The movie makes it sound like this was a last minute decision, like it was Esther backing out. Like it was cowardice.

Anyway, the king and Haman agree that they had an excellent time and would love to come again some other night.

Esther looks disappointed in herself.

The way the movie portrays this makes me really really ANGRY. The real Esther was clever, not this semi coward portrayed in this awful movie.

Mordecai visits, and Haman teases him a bit about how he’ll soon be in “chuckle city.”  Really? Most people I know, even people not bothered by tickling in general, start screaming when it becomes too much. Tickling, after a while, is torture, ok? Even small children know this.

It’s night at the palace. The king can’t sleep, so he orders his scribe to read him the royal records in an attempt to bore him to sleep. No, that is not explained in the movie, but that is the biblical account. All we see here is Larry the Cucumber reading to the king as the king lies in bed.

King: I really like it when you read me these records. I guess you could say it’s the story of me

How egotistical of him.

Also, aren’t the king and queen supposed to be sleeping in the same bed? Or at least the same room? Or is this an I love Lucy type deal where Lucy and Ricky sleep in not only separate beds, but separate rooms?

Also, I believe bionically this happened before his marriage to Esther, though I can’t quite remember.

Anyway, in reading the records, Larry the Cucumber Scribe reads about the plot to kill the king.

The king realizes Mordecai was never rewarded.

I don’t like this juxtaposition, because it suggests that THIS is what saves Mordecai’s family rather than Esther.

Just then, Haman comes in. Talk about appearing before the king uninvited, jeez. Anyway, Xerxes asks Haman what should be done to reward a man. Mordecai suggests a parade through the streets, because of course he thinks this is going to happen for him. Xerxes tells him to arrange just that very thing for Mordecai, enraging Haman.

By the way, in case you can’t tell, Haman is meant to be a gourd, or squash, that’s what vegetable he is. Apparently Mordecai is a grape, even though I thought he was a pea. My bad. In any case.

If I recall correctly, it is THIS incident, rather than any other, that leads Haman to want to kill Mordecai. So having this all happen out of order is really disorienting and confusing for me, and probably for any other person who has read the biblical account of Esther.

Actually, after having read the bible, it’s not out of order. So basically, Haman wants Jews killed because Mordecai. King Xerxes rewards Mordecai for saving his life. King somehow misses putting 2 and 2 together and realizing that Mordecai is a Jew and therefore about to be slaughtered? Even in real life, this king was about as sharp as a bag of hammers!

How did I totally miss that back when I was a Christian? Oh jeez!

 

Next scene shows us Esther and the King having a rare moment alone. they are wondering where Haman is.

Wait, we don’t get to watch an angry Haman parade Mordecai through the streets? But… but…. but I wanted to watch that.

ANYWAY, Esther finally tells the King what is worrying her. “Someone is plotting to banish my family!”

Xerxes: Banish my queen? Who would DARE?

Esther: It’s Haman

Xerxes: Can you prove this charge?

It’s a good thing, actually, to ask for proof.

Esther shows the King the poster about how Haman is a wanted man. Xerxes is all, wait a minute, Mordecai? But I just gave him a parade, he saved my life!

Esther: Mordecai is my cousin. His family is my family

And you know that both the king and Haman are thinking, “oh shit.”This being a kids’ Christian movie however, the word “shit” is off limits, so they just say, “oooooohhhh”

Anyway, the king gets angry, even though he didn’t when Haman banished the Vashti. He gets really upset at Haman and banishes him to the island.

Seriously, as children, we had no problem knowing that he was to be hanged on the very gallows he had prepared for Mordecai. Children are capable of taking in a lot more than these adults give them credit for and again, as a child, Death would’ve been preferable to tickling, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Haman is tickled out the door, and I had to watch this with the sound off, so no, there won’t be a screenshot.

Narrator: and so Haman got what was coming to him, and then some. And Mordecai got Haman’s old job, the second in command in the whole kingdom.

When I opened the bible, it surprised me to learn that that was indeed the case. Well, I learn something new every day, don’t I?

Esther wasn’t born for greatness, she didn’t go to school for it, she just learned that sometimes God has a plan….

Hang on, don’t Christians believe that people are born for specific purposes, and that Esther was born for this very purpose? Sure she didn’t go to school for it, that does not mean she wasn’t born for it. Stupid narrator.

Narrator: Yup, she was just a regular kid, just like you.

I highly doubt I qualify as a kid, since I’ve reached the ripe old age of 25, but whatever. I am not the target audience. It’s probably a good message that ordinary people can do extraordinary things.

 

The End

 

 

Altogether this episode wasn’t… terrible…. it wasn’t good, either, at least, compared to some other episodes of VeggieTales, but…

Are talking vegetables really better than a talking donut? Well, I think they are, but that could be because VeggieTales is a lot more mainstream, and has even had a movie come out in theatres.

I still think this particular episode could’ve been better handled. I’ve already talked about how children are capable of not being frightened by things this movie likes to dance around. Other than that, I thought it stuck fairly close to the biblical account, and managed to leave out at least a good portion of the sexism. Yeah, I know, but seriously, go read the bible story itself if you don’t believe me. It’s actually not a very long story, and you could totally plow through it in a day or so if you have time.

This isn’t one of the episodes I was subjected to as a kid, but I was still able to get through it without gallons and gallons of booze. I have to admit I did start taking a drink every time she got called “Essie,” and whenever tickling came up.

In my opinion, the tickling thing made this movie incredibly stupid.

All in all, Veggietales weren’t the worst thing I was subjected to in childhood, and this isn’t even the worst episode I’ve seen. Whether or not it’s still bad, I’ll let you be the judge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posting Schedule

It occurs to me that I should probably have some sort of schedule for posting. My work schedule is going to change in September, but until then, here is what I have planned:

Wednesday: Older Christian movie/tv show post. For now this is The Buttercream Gang, but after that, I am planning as many episodes of The Donut Repair Club as my liver can stand. After that I plan to track down episodes of McGee and me, and then I’ll follow the rabbit trail from there. Maybe I’ll even get around to doing the sequel to Buttercream Gang, but Pete’s not in it, so it’s probably not as interesting. 

Anyway, unless anybody has any other suggestions, that is my plan for Wednesday blogging.

 

Saturday (or Sunday, depending on which day I party most on): I will be doing a newer Christian movie, something people 5 years younger than me will remember having been subjected to. I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to fill this slot with, and am open to suggestions.

Places to make suggestions are the comments section, but I am also Trynn on freejinger if people wish to contact me there.

 

Also, next time I hit the actual POST button, I’ll wait till all the alcohol is out of my system. Because that Last Buttercream Gang post was an editing disaster. I guess I should’ve paid attention when I was told, “write drunk, edit sober.”

So, today I plan to be doing a lot of editing, both on future Buttercream posts, and on newer movies I plan to watch. So, stay tuned, new content is coming, I promise. Just not every day since I do, fortunately, have a life outside the internet.

The Buttercream Gang, Part 9 (I think? I lost track. I hate numbers)

Elton and Lanny are getting fed up with Pete not doing his share of the work. They are at the tree-house complaining about it. I have no idea what that kid on the stationary bike is doing; looks like he’s pulling up something, but I can’t see it.

 

Scott: so?

Boy: so why’re you still defending him?

I agree with the boy, actually. If the whole point of the club is to help people, and Pete isn’t… then yeah Pete should be kicked out of the club. I get that Scott wants to defend his friend, I would too. But if he’s not fulfilling his club requirements then… well, Lanny and Elton are right, Pete should be kicked out.

The boys eventually get Scott to agree: if he doesn’t start pulling his weight, Pete’s out. I can totally get behind this.

I can not get behind how Scott delivers the news. We’ll get to that in a bit.

Margaret: hey boys, are you up there? Hey Scott, are you up there?

Well no dip, diptick. You can clearly hear them, use our brain, god! I know you’ve got one. Well, maybe not, actually…

Elton and Lanny are getting fed up with Pete not doing his share of the work. They are at the tree-house complaining about it. I have no idea what that kid on the stationary bike is doing; looks like he’s pulling up something, but I can’t see it.

 

Scott: so?

Boy: so why’re you still defending him?

I agree with the boy, actually. If the whole point of the club is to help people, and Pete isn’t… then yeah Pete should be kicked out of the club. I get that Scott wants to defend his friend, I would too. But if he’s not fulfilling his club requirements then… well, Lanny and Elton are right, Pete should be kicked out.

The boys eventually get Scott to agree: if he doesn’t start pulling his weight, Pete’s out. I can totally get behind this.

I can not get behind how Scott delivers the news. We’ll get to that in a bit.

Margaret: hey boys, are you up there? Hey Scott, are you up there?

Well no dip, dipstick. You can clearly hear them, use our brain, god! I know you’ve got one. Well, maybe not, actually…

Boy: honks bike horn

Boy 2: How’d you know we were here?

Margaret: stop kidding me–

Boy: honks horn: I’ll tell you when you can talk

So,

  1. Apparently their treehouse is an open secret
  2. I’ll tell you when you can talk? Excuse me? She is a PERSON YOU FUCKTARDS. I know, I know. But I am SO SICK of women being treated as lesser beings, being told when they’re supposed to talk and when they’re supposed to keep silent. Admittedly this is not a problem limited to conservative Christianity but in any context it is a problem. And I see it as especially problematic here because clearly the boys don’t see Margaret as a person, otherwise they wouldn’t be all “I’ll tell you when you can talk women.” They see her as “other,” as a girl who shouldn’t get to talk unless they say so. Douchebags.Even Pete and his gang give her more credit when they call her “a snitch.”

I hate Scott and his gang right now.

Margaret: Can I talk now?

Buttercream Boy:  Ok

Margaert: is Scott up there? And don’t lie to me Elton I know the answer is yes

THEN WHY ARE YOU ASKING YOU—

but at the same time, I love this girl. She knows Scott is up there and she’s not taking no for an answer. Good for you Margaret! You tell ’em.

Scott: it’s cool guys, what’s up Margaret?

M: I came to collect on that favor you owe me

boy 1: you owe Margaret a favor?

Boy2: that’s worse than dog breath

Scott: very funny

Assholes.

Margaet: well, Pete and his friends have been stealing from Mr. Fraff, they’ve been picking on little kids

Margaret: And Regina and her friends say they’ve been doing all sorts of things

Like what, M? What sorts of different things have they been doing that are in any way connected to gang activity? You’re the one who’s done the research, supposedly, you should know this. You should be able to give specifics.

I like Margaret, but she can be so DUMB at times, and that’s the rub. These authors can have a girl be smart, but they can’t have her be TOO smart, because they can’t have their females be smarter than the boys, yanno.

M: this is serious Scott, I think you need to do something.

By the way, this kid is a terrible actor. But moving on from that.

Scott: Well what am I supposed to do?

Margaret: Stand up to him, it’s the only thing he’ll understand

Maybe she’s right. Maybe in the world Pete’s been living in, confrontation is the only way to do things. I think Margaret might be correct here, though my first response is to disagree.

Scott: Ok, I’ll talk to him. See ya Margaret

Jeez, even back in the early 1990s when I was growing up and most other boys thought girls had cooties, they wouldn’t have dismissed a girl so quickly like that. At least, not the boys *I* hung out with, which were all very respectable children.

Margaret: not so fast, you still owe me a favor

Scott: well I though talking to Pete was the favor

Margaret: No, that’s just the right thing to do

Hold on; telling Scott about Pete was the right thing to do? Whoaaaaaa back the truck UP.

Spying on Pete, which, btw, its totally creepy, and then reporting to Scott, is the right thing to do. That’s the only reason why Margaret is doing this. She’s not doing this because, say, SHE CARES ABOUT PETE?!

She’s not concerned about Pete. She thinks it’s the right thing to do. Now, you could argue that she thinks it’s the right thing to do because she’s concerned about Pete, but…. I haven’t seen that. So far I’ve only seen her and Regina and Regina’s gang be concerned about Pete because Pete looks like there’s a “mystery” to solve. I’ve seen them spying on Pete. I’ve seen  no one, so far, concerned about Pete’s welfare. And if the grownups thought he was in a gang, they would talk to him about it. Because grownups would know that gang activity is dangerous, and if they cared about Pete, they would talk to him about it. They would want to protect him from that.

Margaret and her friends, however, don’t care about Pete’s welfare. They don’t care that he’s getting into dangerous things (which, btw, he’s not) they just care because it’s the right thing to do.

I’ve seen people argue that they don’t want to show the dangerous side of gangs in a children’s movie.

Fine, but they could still show some gang related things, like, actual robbery, not petty theft, smoking cigarettes, drinking, fighting…. (maybe just fist fights, not with knives) still, they could’ve shown actual gang relates activity that wouldn’t have been too traumatic.

I see no reason, so far, to assume that Pete is involved in a gang. He’s made bad friend choices, but that’s hardly the same thing.

Margaret: the favor is you’re taking me to the dance. Pick me up at 7, and don’t be late.

And then she leaves.

Can I just say that I really like Margaret? I think she’s dumb for choosing Scott, but this is a movie, so she was obligated. But she is going to be as sassy about is as possible, dangit. She has her sights set on her man, and she knows how to get him. Now if she could just pick a DECENT boy… well, in my head cannon she dumps him after this movie and gets on with her life and becomes an extremely successful woman and Scotty cries in a corner about how he could’ve had her but was too shallow to see what an awesome woman she is.

Alas, even in the sequel, that doesn’t happen.

Scott’s friends tease him about this, which I find very realistic, though highly annoying.

Apple hates me. It won’t let me download music because I can’t remember my security questions. Well, that’s not true, I just can’t remember my security answers WORD PERFECT, and on the website it won’t let me… rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrerw I hate apple. It used to be good but now I hate it because it’s AWFUL. I should also note that I know my password word perfect, BUT since I have no idea what my security questions were, apple’s too stupid to let me download things EVEN THOUGH I REMEMBER MY GODDAMMN PASSWORD because duuuuuh what’s the security question cuz I’m two stwopid….duuuuuuh duuuuuh duuuuuh.

Anyway, Scott is pissed: I have papers to hand out *starts climbing down treehouse ladder*

Scott’s friends: Aw come on Scott, we’re sorry.

Scott ignores them, and I would too.

Elton and Lanny offer to help Scott with his papers, but in my pinion this is too little too late, but THE MOVIE DOESN’T CARE.

Yes, I’m drunk as fuck and really jaded, and I don’t give a shit.

Boys: Scott and Margaret sittin’ in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G can I shoot them? Please? no? FINE.

In the next scene, we are shown Pete and his gang biking in a circle around Margaret. This is the best screenshot I could get:

SNITCH!

They are teasing her about being a snitch, and what they’re going to do to her if she doesn’t stop spying on them.

I like this. A lot.

  1. She has been spying on them, and that’s obnoxious
  2. the scene will strike grownups as actually dangerous for Margarette, because we know what some gangs do to young women….
  3. it will seem scary to children as well, because they know what it’s like to be teased. Yet at the same time, it won’t scare them too much, because they are unaware of what happens to young women in situations like that. I think when I was a kid, I assumed Margaret was either just being teased, or was about to get punched. I didn’t think what I’m thinking now as an adult, which is…. holy shit are they going to rape her? Though I doubt, from what we’ve seen, that Pete is a rapist of small children, the adults watching this movie are going to have that in the backs of their heads.

In my opinion Scott waits WAY too long before interfering. But interfere he does, finally, crashing into Pete’s bike. They claim they’re having fun, but Scott says it doesn’t look like she’s having any fun. ßd;=di;;t whle ht eab. n

Scotty: bye Margaret

Margaerte leaves. Smart girl, she knows when to hightail it on out of there.

Pete says they’re just having a little fun. Scott suggests pete look the word “fun” up in the dictionary.

Pete: who cares about that?

I admit, Scott’s comeback was a little lame. Apparently Pete thinks this is fun for him, even If it wasn’t for her.

Let me be clear: Pete’s behavior is NOT OK. However, he thinks it’s fun, therefore, he doesn’t need to look fun up in the dictionary.

Pete: are you going to ruin our friendship over that geek girl?

Scott: no you’re gonna ruin it

I can get behind Scott here, until–

Scott: the Buttercreamers had a meeting. If you don’t start carrying your share of the work, you’re out.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this except that Scott is saying this in front of Pete’s new friends, who clearly think the Buttercream gang is stupid.

Scott should not have done this. Scott should have asked to talk to Pete privately. Because saying this in front of his friends is only going to embarrass him. Pete is now going to have to choose between Scott and his new friends in front of his new friends. And that’s not cool to do to anyone.

In Which I watch The Buttercream Gang, The LSD song, AKA Dreams of a Better Day, AKA Pete’s Song

This is the 5th time I have had to edit this post. First because typos, and then second because wordpress deleted all the pictures for some reason. Normally I don’t hate wordpress even when frustrated with it, but this time I’m REALLY  pissed off, because now I have to go through 4 back posts and re put all the images. rrrrrrr. Also, I updated this twice, but apparently wordpress only published the non updated version? Ugh. Maybe I DO need to move my blog.

So, I apologize for all the roughness and uneditedness you have had to deal with. It’s making me want to scream, too.

Also, even though I updated this 4 times, for some reason wordpress only published the original edition that I had only saved as a draft…. I’m about ready to ragequit this website.

So, I had to make a special booze run in order to do this for you guys tonight. Well, actually, I didn’t just want to do it for you, I wanted to do it for me, because it’s been driving ME crazy that I haven’t made any posts in a few days. Most of the reasons have been good (Ren Fest, Herbal refreshment (I mean mint tea, jeez!)) and some have been, well…. I got stuck working late on Monday, which isn’t actually a bad thing, because more hours=more money, and I was needed, so I don’t begrudge my boss at all. And I’m not just saying that because I’m giving him the link to this blog, because I just found out Hook is one of his favorite Robin Williams movies.

No, I actually respect my bosses. There are 4 of them, and I don’t like all 4 of them, but I respect all 4 of them. I don’t think I’ve ever had a boss I disrespected at Jimmy Johns, unless we’re counting Rich as a boss. Which I don’t, because, he’s not. Anyway, the minute the booze kicks in, onto the recap!

So, Youtube might have had the entire movie taken down due to copyright issues BUT, there’s no copyright against posting the song, and the video footage that goes with it.

for some reason, wordpress isn’t letting me put the song in quotes without putting the WHOLE POST in quotes. I really need to figure out what wordpress has done to themselves, because they used to be very good about such things. So I apologize if this post is a bit discombobulated.

You may listen to this song at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6Ke8-egduI

Apparently this song was written by Kurt Bestor. I am trying to imbed the youtube video but it appears that it doesn’t want to work. Fine. So, here are the lyrics.

Looking back on a younger man
Long ago and far away
Living in an age of innocence
In the shadows of a brighter day
Time stood still and it never seemed
That our worlds could grow apart
It was all for one, and one for all
Straight from the heart

Those summer rains
That we hoped would never end
Wash away troubles and sorrow
And starry nights when each wish came true
Can’t you send all those yesterday to tomorrow?

Won’t you please tell me where to find him?
And that life with a story book end?
Can’t you please tell me where you find him?
Maybe’s he’s found in a fairy tale
With those dream of a better day

Life on the streets has taught me
To see the world through different eyes
What was love your neighbor as yourself
Now hides behind the lies
You start thinking you can have it all
The world is yours to take
So you fill your cup with emptiness
And promises you make

Bring back these rains
And wash my cares away
And dry my eyes with the sun light
And on that star only one small wish I pray
Bring him home again

Won’t you please tell me where to find him?
And that life with a story book end?
Can’t you please tell me where you find him?
Maybe’s he’s found in a fairy tale
With those dream of a better day

Unfortunately, I have to retake almost all screenshots again because my hard drive had to be whipped, and picture files are harder to ave than word files. So, this might take me a while. This is going to be frustrating, but I’m trying to count my blessings. I told my friend from Norway “I hope this is a quick and cheap fix.”

Let’s take the first verse:

Looking back on a younger man
Long ago and far away
Living in an age of innocence
In the shadows of a brighter day
Time stood still and it never seemed
That our worlds could grow apart
It was all for one, and one for all
Straight from the heart

So, the first verse kinda seems like…. like an adult is looking back on their childhood. Because, the only age of innocence I can think of is like…. ages 5-12. And I only go up to age 5 on that because ages 1-3 I don’t have very many memories of.

Frankly, I am shocked that Pete has managed to make it to… 8th grade? This movie never establishes how old the characters are exactly but it talks about them going into high school next year, so we’ll go with 8th grade. I am shocked that Pete has made it all the way to 8th grade without having “the age of innocence” shattered. It feels like for me it happened much earlier.

The shadows of a brighter day…. I do remember brighter days….. dimly.

The world between me and my friends grew apart…. but even back then we were never

all for one and one for all

straight from the heart

So, like the 3 musketeers, then? I guess The Buttercreamers were like the 3 musketeers. Er, the 4 musketeers, since back when Pete was apart of them, there were 4.

This song…. makes half sense to me when I’m drunk. If sober, I don’t have a prayer of understanding what the hell it is talking about… an adult trying to go back to the peace and innocence of childhood? That is the best I am coming up with and it is not good.

Why the hell did this song, did this movie, have any impact on me whatsoever?

I must have been a very very stupid child. Anyway…

Yes, the world is generally more innocent seeming in childhood. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that innocence, I really do. But I Think adulthood is what broke me of that state, not going away from what was “right.” Leaving God did not cause me to become a very jaded individual. Growing up did, and I think it’s like that for everybody.

And… I wouldn’t go back to childhood. I…I just wouldn’t.

So, during the first verse we are shown this:

We never do find out who these guys are, so I’ve decided to call them Jason (left) and right (Greg). Don’t expect me to keep their faces straight now….

Ugh. My computer is cooperating sooooo little that I’m about ready to start screaming. A;OWERHTWO;RAEHTEUARHGWRURWUORT;WET8AEHTUIEATHETH

ok, I’m done. For now. Anyway, back to the song.

We are then shown, as the song begins, Pete biking with his gang (wait, how is Pete biking when it will be established before and after that he has no bike? Consistency people, it needs to exist.)

Scott and his boyfriends are fishing, swimming, and generally shown having fun unless they are helping out some old lady mow her lawn. Pete and his gang, on the other hand, are getting into horrible things such as….

Well, at first Pete is shown hanging out a little bit with the Buttercreamers, but then leaving as soon as they start to do actual work. I do not blame Pete for this, for the record. After a bit, it sounds like something I would do. I might like helping people a little bit, but after a year or so of this, I’d get very tired of it very fast.

We then see the 3 boys doing different things as the girls watch solemnly through the daisies, thinking they’re inconspicuous. Pete is shown hanging out with this new gang AND Scott and his crew. It is clear he’s trying to straddle both worlds and….

I don’t blame him. I’ve been there. Wanting to hang onto my religious friends like Jacq and Brittney, while knowing I really fit in better with… well, less religious people.

Actually, now that I think about it, these shots of Pete hanging out with Scott and the gang might be flashbacks. Maybe. No, they’re not; Pete is shown starting to work with them, but then bailing out, saying he’s gotta go. I don’t blame him. If I were Pete’s age, I would not want to spend my time mowing lawns for people. I’d want to be doing my own thing as a young person. As most young people want to do. Helping people is great, but I’d want my own life. Maybe Pete is starting to realize that.

Pete and his new gang must be blind not to see the girls spying on them

Nope, totally not spying on Peter at all

As a side note, I used to have a blue jumper like that. I mostly wore it to Greater Lansing SDA School, and only because they only allowed girls to wear ugly jumpers, back in my day, rather than pretty dresses.

In any Case….

The boys are caught doing such horrible things such as:

  1. Pete and his gang pick up the little kids off the seesaw, and then play on the seesaw themselves. Really? What teenagers even play on the playground in front of little kids, let alone physically take them off the seesaw? Seriously. My friends and I only ever played on playground equipment when we thought no one was looking. This was at age 13-15 or so, when we actually cared about such things. Which Pete and his friends are at that age. They’re not at the age where they don’t care what people say, so they wouldn’t do this In public, let alone physically remove 4-5 year olds from a teeter totter. Also, 4-5 year olds, even in 1992, would be at least partially supervised. Even back then, there would have had to have been at least ONE adult at the playground. The age of unsupervised 5 year olds was at least a decade past at the time this movie was shot. Someone would have noticed. Seriously.

Don’t get me wrong, this is bullying, however, at least they’re not causing the children physical harm. This is evidence that they are doing wrong, but a gang would’ve…. done worse things, I think.

Next, we are shown a scene of Pete and his new gang stealing some poor kid’s school lunch. This is wrong, and something I might punch Pete over, but then, this is Elkridge, he probably won’t starve for too long… missing one meal isn’t going to hurt him in a town like this. At least, It wouldn’t in my town, and my town is about the size of Elkridge… and now we’re bringing up bad memories so I’d better stop.

Pete and his gang also (I apologize, wordpress is NOT letting me change the numbers)

  1. Smashing glass bottles on railroad tracks while this girl watches through the daisies

This was honestly the best screenshot I could get…. the video doesn’t show her whole face….

A random shot of Pete getting upset at his gang for spilling potato chips:

  1. setting fires out in the middle of nowhere and running

life on the streets has taught me

to see the world through different eyes

Does it ever occur to people that this is a good thing? I mean, seeing the world through different eyes can open up your mind to the struggles other people face, to the things other people go through… it makes you more understanding, more flexible in your thinking. It’s not always a bad thing, in fact, usually it’s a good thing, and very character building for the individual.

Not so to the girls glancing through the daisies. They are thinking yup, this is definitely gang related activity. I mean, by that definition, -I- am in a gang. Because of the smashing glass bottles and hanging out with people who steal things, not that I’ve ever bullied small children on the playground. Or outright stolen lunches from kids. I might’ve stolen food from the church pantry, but I’ve never actually taken a kid’s lunch from him.

Actually, I told the pastor’s wife I stole from the church pantry, and she told me that if I was that hungry, I could just have it. Did I ever mention that the pastor’s wife was just awesome? Because, she was. But again, that’s another blog post. I need to not go on a rant here.

While Pete, Jason and Greg are off on “gang related” activity, Scotty, Lanny, and Elton, are picking up trash by the side of the highway.

I’ve done that before, picked up trash by the side of the highway. I did it with my Christian school and…. honestly it wasn’t too fun. The gloves gave me a rash. I’m not sure if they were latex gloves or not, but just in case, I tell people I’m allergic to latex. Looking back, it might’ve been the powder in the gloves, but… I don’t know. Something about those gloves hated me. It was fun being with my friends, but it was not fun picking up trash. (we looked like community service people who’d committed a crime) and it was not fun having a rash all over my hands for reasons I’m not sure of, to this day. Not to mention the times we almost got run over by a car.

So basically, I  don’t blame Pete for not wanting to do this. In fact, even as an adult, I would not do this. There are other ways of helping people, in my humble opinion.

You start thinking you can have it all
The world is yours to take
So you fill your cup with emptiness
And promises you make

Seriously, what the hell does this even mean? Ummm you stat thinking you can steal whatever you want? Fill your cup with emptiness and promises… I don’t… I’m sorry, I can’t even make sense of that nonsense. Feel free to talk about it in the comments (of the thread on FJ) but…. even drunk I have no idea. Being sober just makes it worse, because then I have ABSOLUTELY no idea.

And seriously, why shouldn’t someone take what the world has to offer? Why is the world being something you can reach out to take a bad thing?

Pete’s gang bikes slowly in front of a truck on a public road. This is….something that would be dangerous where I live now. In a small town, the truck would just honk at them like it is doing in the movie…. I can see this is plausible…. Pete and his friends are being obnoxious jerks but…. again, this does not strike me as gang behavior. Though it could strike me as suicidal behavior.

Pete and his gang run through an orchard throwing what looks like under ripe apples at each other. Scott and the Butter-creamers are shown white washing a fence (Tom Sawyer fooled them, ha!) While Mrs. Whoever brings out lemonade.

Oooooh Pete and his gang are shown writing bad words on the school door. We’re not shown WHAT the bad words ARE, mind you, because this is a children’s movie made my Mormons.

I’m sure we can all figure out the rest…

Ugh. I have the drunchies. I’m gonna go munch on a carrot.

Scott and the Buttercreamers are shown harvesting the same orchard Pete and his friends were running through earlier. In other words, being a goody two shoes.

Pete and his friends definitely look like they’re having more fun. I don’t blame him at all for not wanting to be working. In his eyes, he’s probably done enough. It’s time to spend his youth having some fun.

The 4th item on the list is the only thing that is remotely dangerous. It could be argued that the fire won’t spread, but I don’t know, It looks pretty wet to me…. it could spread…. but honestly, with proper precautions, this is something I could see myself doing. I am, after all, a pyromaniac, as was my grandfather before me. I miss my grandpa… another post.

I don’t know why Pete and his gang are running away from the fire; did they use gasoline? In that case, they’d better run. Even *I* don’t use gasoline,  unless we have a way to contain it, because it kind of explodes out ward, and if you’re not far away enough it can hurt you. So, it can be argued that Pete and his friends are being cautious. If they do have a way to contain the fire, it’s not dangerous. I’m assuming they have water somewhere nearby.

Something I would totally do… minus the running away with no way to put out the fire part.

I really tried to get a good screenshot of this, but this was the best I could do. It looks to me like the boys are stealing sugar. In Which case, if I was Mr. Graff, I’d let them, what with sugar being a staple in baking and all, I’d assume they needed it for their mammas’.

won’t you please tell me where to find him?
And that life with a story book end?

Plays in the background. I…. does it mean like…. he’s trying to find the part of him that’s perfect, and he feels like it is found in a storybook? Sorry, drunk is the only way that halfway makes sense, otherwise this whole entire song is just fuckin’ nonsense.

Longing for his childhood self?

Pete’s Gang run past two girls shouting… I can’t make it out, and I’ve gone over it five times. It sounds like, “free baby!” but is probably more like… free food? I don’t know, I give up. There’s no subtitles in this. Either way, they’re being obnoxious about it, and Mr. Graff has to know what’s going on, if he’s got ears.

And…. that’s….the end of the LSD song…

I can kinda relate… this guy is trying to find his younger self, the self that was more innocent… and he now thinks that that part of himself is a fairy tale which,  yeah, it is, beyond a certain age….

But see, the thing is, this isn’t just the result of Pete “becoming bad.” This is the result of growing up. I did not become a more jaded person because I left God, I became a very jaded individual because I grew up.

And…. This is the part where I go pass out because I have had waaaaay too much alcohol. But honestly, even without the alcohol it wouldn’t make much sense. I have tried to listen to this song sober and it just doesn’t work. If it works for you, that’s great, please explain it to me. The song is officially called Shadows of a Better Day on youtube, but you can also get to it by searching for Pete’s Song. The song itself (and possibly the scenes of the movie as it plays) are not under copyright, so it shouldn’t magically disappear.

Tomorrow there will be both another Buttercream and Hook post. At least there will be a Hook post, we’ll see if I can stomach the alcohol needed to do the Buttercream Gang post.

And I’m going to try to figure out what is going on and why it won’t publish my edits and why it’s deleting my pictures.