In Which I Have No Reason to be Down

And yet I am. was talking to a friend this weekend and could barely keep from crying the whole time.

Why Abby? What were you sad about?

Nothing. There is nothing in my life that is that bad. Sure I have problems, and some of them are even big. However, I can’t think of one problem that is big enough to be causing major depression.

Why are you so depressed Abby?

A Chemical imbalance in the brain, I guess. That’s my answer, anyway, and I’m sticking to it.

I have been to counseling and psychological services (hereafter referred to as CAPS.) Things are not moving as fast as I would like, but they are moving. I am finally taking some steps to take care of myself.

It’s too bad none of those steps involve keeping up with my schoolwork. Or forcing myself to try and believe God exists. Truth is, I think I only believe he exists because people keep telling me that. I’m not sure I ever knew it for myself.

See, if a person is told something over and over again for extended periods of time, no matter how wrong it is, that person will come to believe it. This is a scientific fact.

I’m not trying to say God DOESN’T exist, just that, I don’t think I ever knew. Did I ever have my own experience with God? No, I really don’t think I did. I’ve been relying on the experiences of others. Relying on what people have told me vs what God (if he exists) has shown me.

This post was going to be a book review post, but when I started working on it, I ran out of energy before I typed the first sentence.

I did review some books on amazon.  I’m not going to directly link to them, because those reviews are written under my real name, and I don’t wish to have my real name associated with the blog.

I’ve decided to go reread a bunch of books from childhood and see if I still feel the same about them. You can join me on that particular adventure, which will be pretty slow until Christmas break. And that’s pretty much ALL I’ll be doing over Christmas break, yay me!!

Help Me


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