In Which I Am Alone At The Campus House (Just the way I like it!)

So, James has my life all planned out for me. At the end of this year, I will be rebaptized. (I don’t know why he thinks I need it… I know why *I* think I need it, but James doesn’t know about that.) Then this summer I’m going to go canvassing. After that, I will be a missionary.

James: who would have thought that Abby Snow, would be a missionary!

Ok, aside from the wild inaccuracy of this statement (well, the entire paragraph, actually) this statement actually made me want to cry.
Am I really that bad? Am I really that bad a person that it would be a shock to people? I mean, really?

I do not want to be that type of person. I want to be the kind of person who, if I ever did decide to be a missionary (which I just recently decided I don’t want to, ever) people would say, “Yup. I knew it. That’s Abby.”

Once that could’ve been said of me. Not anymore. And I’ve tried to change, but apparently it hasn’t worked. If I were to tell James about Candyland, he’d either say, “yeah, I wondered.” or, “that explains SO MUCH.” Or some equally depressing thing that would leave me in tears.

Then later Bamji said the most encouraging thing anyone’s said to me all week (even though The Government has been trying). I’m not sure why… I think I said something like, “James, I’m going to murder you in the worst way possible.”

Bamji: Abby, you do not seem like you could murder someone.

I had a hard time convincing the people in the car I meant it when I said that that is the most encouraging thing… anyone from campus, actually, has said to me… ever.

I might not be able to be a missionary, but at least I’m not able to be a murderer.

Help Me


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