In Which I Am Disappointed

So, got an email from dad last night. He said I should come to camp with them. I wrote that if he came to H to come get me, I totally would go. He emailed back that if he had known in time, he would’ve came and got me.

And then I started crying. AT this very moment, I could be zooming my way down to camp au sable, headed for a week of…well, I’m not sure exactly WHAT, since it’s been a while since I’ve been able to enjoy family camp, but the point is, I would not be sitting here staring at 5 more days worth of canvassing. or 4 1/2. Whatever.

Not would I be here with these people, 2 of whom irritate me to pieces, one of those 2 people I actually love spite of that.

I’m staling the neighbor’s wifi…it’s so nice of them to elave it unprotected for us.

Anyway, the other program I was thinking of doing for the summer ended this weekend. It made me wonder: what would my life have been like if I’d done that instead? Would I have been constantly anxious all the time? Probably not. Would I have felt as horrible afterward? Probably not. Would my life have been easier? Maybe, maybe not. Would my life have been so micromanaged? Definitely not.

But of course, If I HAD done the other program, I’d be wondering the same things about canvassing. I suppose I could always do that program next summer, beause I sure as shit DON’T want to go back to canvassing. And if God REALLY wants me to, he can find me an adults only program. I’m too old to be treated like a high schooler.

I look forward to the few days in M where I’ll have the house to myself. Even when my parents return, I’ll have time. I’ll be able to read all day, and go look for blueberries. And I will not miss canvassing. Not one littlebit. In fact, most of the time this next week when i get back  is going to be spent thanking God that I’m not canvassing right now.

Until then…. 5 more days. 5 more days and it’ll all be over. I only pray that it’ll be over for good.

I probably should go make lunch or something. My batter’s about to die anyway. Technology is so cruel.

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