So….today was interesting. It started way too stinkin early, because Joana had to take me to the clinic to– oh, but I’d better back up.
So, yesterday I came to a house with this small, white dog. It’s just sitting there watching me, not acting threatening in the least. I knocked on the door. Nothing happened. I knocked again. The man opened the door. At that point, the dog started barking at me –mean barking– and attacked. Well, as much as an ankle biter can, anyway. She/he/it bit me on the….ankle area? really hard. Even though my leggings, it broke skin. The owner shooed the dog inside, and I kinda limped from house to house. I told my leader, but she started talking to Mason, so I figured nobody cared. We’ll fast forward a couple of hours to when someone finally paid ttention to me, and Joana realized that hey, maybe I should get that looked at. Since it is a really small wound, she waited till after work, which was kinda dumb in my opinion because most walk in clinics aren’t open that late. I mean, I know there are souls to save, but I mean, come on, who knows whether that dog had its shots?
So this morning I had to get up super early, not for devotions (though I tried to have those too, but because of the earliness, it wasn’t happening) but to go to a clinic. Hours and much paperwork later, I come out with antibiotics and a pill to deal with the sideaffects I always get. It’s awesome how willing doctors are to prescribe that pill.
Anyway, on to what you really want to hear about: Canvassing! Woot! Or something. I wish I’d gotten this down earlier because now I am fumbling for words. The guy behind the door wasn’t interested, so I continued. And then I hear someone running behind me. I’ve never had someone chase me down the street before, but I know it happens, so I turned around. It was the guy whose door I’d knocked on just a few minutes ago. He handed me two shiny gold dollar coins (I thought they were quarters at first, haha) he still wouldn’t take the HD, but he said, “you know, I was watching you come, and I wondered how you would take my rejection, but you were very polite about it, and respectful, and so I decided to give you this.”
Taken aback, I said thank you, I strive always to be polite (even when it’s really not easy. I don’t always succeed, working on that) and we proceeded to talk. It turns out he’s actually done some of the same type of work, for a different denomination. He said they would go door to door selling dream catchers and the money would go this church.
And…this is where I’m kind of ashamed. I felt the holy spirit leading, and I didn’t do anything. Basically, he said he wanted to give me something, free, and handed me a book. He said it was written by his church’s leader, and that it was about uniting christianity. I thought I felt the holy spirit leading me to give the man a GC in return, telling him that it talked about uniting the different denominations of Christianity. Book for Book, why not? But all I could think of was money, and how HE was being so encouraging, saying it was a good work I was doing, and to keep doing it.
I wish I was better, and actually LISTENED to the Holy Spirit. When he deigns to talk to me, which isn’t often.
I thought about going back to give him a GC, but never did.
But, there is a point to this little story: that guy came back to talk to me because I was courteous. Even if we don’t feel like it, (and it is hard, I know) courtesy will go a lot farther sometimes than anything else we can do.
Anyway, I actually sometimes get a fair amount of people who tell me this is a good way to reach out and I should keep doing it. Not every day, but some days. But I’ve never had it happen twice in the same day.
I was at this lady’s house, and I could tell by the signs that she was a conservative Christian, but I asked anyway (because one should never assume… maybe she wasn’t the Christian, after all, maybe it was her husband. Actually it turned out her husband was in A and had run out of gas, and she had to go pick him up. This was why she had no money, otherwise she’d help. (Yeah, I’ve heard that one before, but this lady seemed honest, and I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.) Since she said she was a Christian, I asked if I could go ahead and pray for her. So I said a quick prayer for her and her husband, that she would have patience and that God would be with her. Afterwards she hugged me, said thank you, and that that was much needed.
I think that is the first time someone has hugged me out in the field.
I’m surprised I didn’t mind it.
She said she thought it was a good mission for me, and to keep doing it, and she was just very encouraging.
The rest of the day was very discouraging. Especially since I started today, and was in minimal amounts of pain. Plus I was getting dehydrated faster than normal because of this, and was actually feeling sick because I couldn’t get in enough water. I think Jeandra actually felt bad for me, and if I’d complained too hard, she probably would’ve let me stay in the van till lunch. But, I didn’t feel I was quite that bad off.
The rest of the day was rough. I know Jesus was with me, but it was hard to believe it.
I’m disappointed. God only had till today to show me in some mighty big way whether he wanted me here or not. And please don’t tell me that the above experiences are proof of anything, because I’ve had even more people tell me that I should quit and get a real job. I was hoping for like, a ten book set, or a dump bag, something, anything. Even a sprained ankle would be a sign: GO. All I got was a stupid dog bite.
But actually, I’m thankful for that dog bite. You see, yesterday Joana was a little crazy. She said that if we didn’t get a certain number of books out (it kept changing, seriously) that day she was going to keep us out at a gas station until we got out the number we were “supposed” to. Of course, after that I had fifty thousand fits of anxiety, (which meant I didn’t sell ANYTHING because I was so anxious all I could do was pray I’d get out enough books to keep her off my back) because
1. gas station. Late at night.
2. This would cut into my Jesus/reflection time
3. This would cut into my sleep time, and then I’d be tired in the morning.I did text Wyson and ask how late Joana was allowed to keep us out till, but he never texted back. He probably thought I just wanted to go home at 9 instead of 9:10 or something stupid like that. No, Wyson, I’m having a blankety blank blank blank anxiety attack AND YOU WON’T EVEN HELP ME. Ahem. Sorry. Moving on.
But, since Joana wanted to take me to the clinic, we ended up skipping the whole gas station thing. So, even though I was kinda mad at God and super disappointed with him at first, I’m thankful that he let that dog bite me. The fact that I still didn’t get evening time with Jesus is beside the point, because I thought I would be getting it and was able to calm down after that. I’m not sure if I sold anything still, but at least I was able to get through the rest of the day without having to take cry breaks. Yes, I literally had to stop on the street twice yesterday to shed a few tears, or I was going to break down at the doors. In fact, I almost did.Which is why I stopped and took cry breaks.
But! that was yesterday, and this is today. Today was… better than yesterday, but not in terms of sales. In terms of
1. I had experiences
2. I was able to pray with someone who sounded like she really needed it.
If I had to go through all that to reach even just one, just that one lady, a sister in Christ, who needed encouragement, it was worth it. It was worth working in hundred degree heat sipping on water that was hotter than I was. It was worth walking in extreme heat even though I was not feeling well.
I still do not like canvassing. But I do like having experiences like the lady. Like the man. Next time I will listen to the Holy Spirit. Especially if money is the only objection. I know they tell us not to give out books for free, but in some situations I believe it can be beneficial. And, I mean, come on, God can provide donations to cover it. If not today, then the next, or the day after that. And, at the end of the day, I did have enough donations to cover it.
But who knows. Maybe we’ll be back next year. Maybe some other student will knock on that guy’s door. Maybe that other student would be better to reach that guy (whose name I never caught, so I’ll call him George) than I was because… some personalities are better at reaching people than others. Maybe he’ll remember the student who showed him the GC. Maybe he’ll remember the courteous way in which she treated him. Maybe he will figure out the student is with the same organization, and the new student will canvass the GC better than I did. Maybe all I did was soften the way for George to be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading later on in his life.
I will never know what I did. Whether I had a positive or negative impact on his overall spirituality. (I mean, if I didn’t listen to the HS telling me to give him the book, that could still be a negative impact.) But maybe I planted the seed. Maybe.
This is a rebuke to me. No matter how people treat me, I must be polite. I must be courteous. I must treat them like my own brother/sister in Christ.
Because we don’t always know the impact of just one kind word. Just one.