In which I am losing my faith

So, when I got here, I thought I was going to have someone to speak to. Someone like a counselor. I felt I would really benefit from this. And the person bailed. I thought that I was going to get better. I thought someone was going to help me.

I honestly am beginnin to think God doesn’t exist right now. What kind of a mean god does that? Just holds out hope and then snatches it away?

And then, the big one: if god isn’t willing to give me the help I need OUT of the field, what on earth makes me think he’ll help me IN the field?

In my life I’ve never really quit anything, even when I should have. Maybe I should quit now, for my own sanity’s sake. Maybe… It’d be better this way.

The lord doesnt want a worker like me anyway. He wants someone who WANTS to be here. Who likes doing this.

Help me

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