For those who don’t know, and you all should by now, I have Tourrettes Syndrome. For those of you who think that that is the random swearing disease, you are sadly misinformed. That is actually copralalia. Less than 1% of TS sufferers actually have that. Media stereotypes much? Much.
Anyway, so there’s this new girl. I told her I have TS, and I explained a bit about what it was. I thought it’d be ok, because, you know, she’s at that age where people are able to understand more (by the which I mean, NOT 8 YEARS OLD) and she said, “oh yeah, my little brother has that.”
So I proceed as normal with my daily life after the questions. I do not mind answering questions. At all. I seek to educate people about my disability. What I do not appreciate is, after I have explained, someone looking at me after I tic, and laugh.
That’s right. She laughed. At me. Said It Was funny, and kinda cute when I did that. No, seriously, looked at me and said, “You’re funny, you look cute when you do that.”
I’d like to remind everyone that this is AFTER I told her what disease I have, and had a small question and answer period.
I was MAD. I explained it to her. She said she had a little brother with it. I gave a tight little smile (you know, the I’m smiling because I have to but I really want to kill you look) and said, “And you can not laugh at it please.” In kind of this “I want to scream at you but I’m restraining myself” voice.
I do not believe this girl (younger than 18) is telling the truth about her little brother. If she was, she would know how to treat someone who suffers. Seriously, I have met 8 YEAR OLDS that have responded better. If this girl seriously had a little brother with TS, she would know not to laugh at him.
She would also know that this disease is NOT “cool.” Do you know how many people tell me that it is “cool” that I have TS? Right. Because having a disability is so cool. Because not being able to control your own body is cool. Because having to literally hurt yourself doing the same movement over and over and over again and it hurts and you want to stop BUT YOU CAN’T.
Because it’s cool to constantly worry what people are thinking when you’re constantly sticking out your middle finger BECAUSE YOU CAN’T HELP IT. It’s cool to know you’re annoying people, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Folks, let me tell you right now: there is nothing cool about having a disease. At all. And I don’t just mean TS. I mean any disease or disability. And yes, TS does count as sort of a disability, even though my symptoms are comparatively mild. You can admire someone with a disease/disability. That is fine and acceptable. I admire a lot of people with diseases/disabilities for managing in life and working with and or around them.
But telling someone their disability is cool? Seriously? Would you say that to an autistic person? What about my mental disabilities, are those cool too?
She laughed. At me. For something I can’t stop. And she breaks into a smile almost every time I tic.
If she really does have a little brother with TS, and this is how she treats him, then that poor kid has been going through hell for YEARS. I feel bad for him. If he exists.
The Lord gave me a good day out in the field today. Now he just needs to give me patience with N.